


Melt My Heart To Stone

by blaine_anderson_just



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-06-02 20:04:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 39,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6580402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blaine_anderson_just/pseuds/blaine_anderson_just
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt is happy when Blaine’s plan to woo Jeremiah works. Of course he is. Blaine deserves to have someone who makes him feel giddy and excited for life. So, Kurt says he’s happy for Blaine, because he should be. And it shouldn’t hurt that Blaine is happy with another guy. It really shouldn’t. But… it does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Repeating Like A Broken Tune [1]**

His fingers were thin. They were unbelievably thin - piano fingers, his mom once said. But currently they felt numb and dry and he rubbed them up and down his crossed legs in attempt to add warmth to his already slightly shivering body. He wished he had taken his dad's advice and worn gloves today. Blaine had gloves on. His hands were probably nice and warm. If they were together, Kurt would be holding his hands and his hands would be warm too. But instead, he was out here, in the cold, waiting for the guy Blaine was _actually_ crushing on, with no gloves.

Kurt knew his face was probably scrunched up right now, something he could easily blame on the cold air. He couldn't help it; this was pathetic. He was so involved in this facade of a relationship he had made up, that he couldn't help the slight coldness he gave off towards the relationship that was about to be. But he was still a good friend. Not only that, he was one of Blaine's best friends. He couldn't leave him to fend for himself over if this Gap employee wanted something more or not. He had to be there for Blaine and be happy for him. He would want the same treatment if it was the other way around.

Kurt was so caught up in his own thoughts that he almost missed Blaine asking him a question, only catching bits, but enough to at least give a facial response when Blaine looked over to him. Blaine nodded, a bit of embarrassment in his face as he looked away. "Yeah, it was too much." He said, basically mumbling to himself.

Kurt was just about to speak, maybe say something witty to make him feel better- and if he was lucky, maybe put a reassuring arm around his shoulders and let Blaine lean on him- but before he could fully finish that fantasy, Jeremiah was walking through the doors, hands deep in his pockets, and Blaine was quick to stand up and call him. Jeremiah turned, apparently surprised to still see Blaine hanging around as he walked up to him.

"What the hell were you doing?" He spoke in harsh words as both Blaine and Kurt gave a shocked expression. Kurt was glad Blaine's back was to him, because his face most likely fell from the goofy, shy grin he had to his sad, puppy eyes of disappointment.

"What?" Blaine asked in reply, taking a step back a little.

"You can't just... show up at my job, and bust a move. You got me fired." Jeremiah explained, throwing his hands up in anger as Blaine hung his head a bit.

“But they loved it.” Blaine argued weakly, trying to keep the smile on his face as Jeremiah rolled his eyes.

“My boss didn’t... Neither did I.” There was a slight uncomfortable silence as Jeremiah slipped his hands back in his jacket pockets, shifting on his feet. "No one here knows I’m gay."

Blaine’s shoulders slumped even more than they did before, feeling the immediate shame of outing the guy he wanted to be his boyfriend and Kurt couldn’t help but chime in, invading in the conversation that was really none of his business. But if it made Blaine feel a little less hurt, it was worth it. “Can I be honest? Just with the hair, I think they do.” he spoke, both of the guys directing their attention to him instead of awkwardly at each other.

Jeremiah gave another eye roll, shaking his head and Kurt would’ve given one back because honestly, it’s not like he had any sort of friendliness towards the man at all - but the small smile of appreciation on Blaine’s face stopped him from doing so. The look in his eyes simply said the words of gratitude for Kurt saving him from feeling completely torn apart. And though it wasn’t needed because Kurt would save Blaine from a burning building and have a full argument about why he didn’t need to say ‘thank you’, Kurt gave a silent ‘you’re welcome’ with a nod before allowing Blaine to turn back towards Jeremiah and continue.

“Listen, Jeremiah,” Blaine started, throwing his arms down a bit in defeat. “I never meant to ‘out’ you in front of everyone. That is the last thing I would want to do - for anyone. But, it happened, and you shouldn’t be afraid to be who you are here. If this Gap doesn’t accept you for your sexuality and great taste in guys with cheesy songs and people to harmonize with him, then... screw ‘em.”

Jeremiah ducked his head with a small chuckle, rubbing a hand over his forehead and in less than a second, Blaine’s perkiness was back. He was happy and hopeful and determined to make this guy his...

Kurt wanted to believe it didn’t hurt.

Jeremiah looked back up at Blaine, hands still deep in his pockets as he shook his head. “You think if I wanted to give a big ‘eff you’ to bigots like that, I’d be a freshman in an Ohio college?”

“You want to be in California. Being at Ohio State was only a second option, therefore, yes. I do.” Blaine answered with a sharp nod of his head. Jeremiah gave another chuckle as he bit his lip. He rubbed a hand through his sandy colored hair with a sigh.

“Blaine, you gave me that entire serenade when we’ve only had... what, two? Maybe three coffees together?”

“And I plan to have more.” Blaine spoke up, taking a step forward. Jeremiah smiled down at Blaine - though he wasn’t that tall, Blaine was still incredibly short - and he gave a sigh, swallowing.

“Well, looks like your planning has paid off.” he spoke. Blaine smiled widely, ducking his head a bit as he put his hands in his pockets, waiting for Jeremiah to continue. “I’ll meet you our regular spot and... we can talk about... well, us.” he informed.

“O - okay,” Blaine nodded, and Kurt couldn’t help but notice from his spot on the sidelines how Blaine’s eyes widened when he said that. How it it was one of _those_ happy moments. Where the happiness lit up his entire face, from the eyes going wide from hope and naive minded thinking to squinty from grinning, to the light blush on his cheeks that was obvious that it wasn’t from the cold if you knew Blaine like Kurt knew Blaine. Not just his dazzling smile, but everything in between and everything on the outside showed how happy he was.

Kurt couldn’t help but notice and appreciate that happy aura around Blaine. He couldn’t help but wonder if Jeremiah appreciated that aura. He couldn’t help but wonder if Jeremiah appreciated any of the little things about Blaine, even with the little time they had together. The way Kurt did.

Kurt watched as the two exchanged numbers before Jeremiah walked over to his car, Blaine waiting till he was out of sight before walking (basically bouncing) over to Kurt, making him stand as he let out a tiny squeal. “He wants to talk about us!” Blaine exclaimed, holding Kurt’s hands in his with an excited grip as Kurt chuckled.

“I know, I heard.” he smiled as Blaine bit his lip with happiness, his feet bouncing on the tips of his toes.

“He wants to have coffee with me right now.” Blaine’s happiness suddenly fell into a facade of concern as he gasped. “Oh God, how do I look? How’s my breath? Oh God, what if he tries to kiss me? What if all of this is a joke and he’s not really interested...?”

“Blaine...” Kurt chuckled again at Blaine’s random ramble of concern, pulling him closer as Blaine worried his bottom lip between his teeth with nervousness. “Hey, stop with all this anxiety. You look amazing, your breath is fine, and of course he’s gonna wanna kiss you whether that be today or next week because you are perfect. Now shut your mouth and get that cute butt over to the coffee shop so he can fall in love with you.”

Blaine suddenly became silent as he looked down, and Kurt had worried if he had even heard a word of that tiny speech he had just gave, but then Blaine was throwing his arms around Kurt, making him take a step back to regain his balance. Kurt laughed softly, Blaine’s arms tight around his neck and Kurt hugged back tightly, gently rubbing up and down Blaine’s back.

“Thank you so much.” he mumbled in Kurt’s ear, and Kurt gave a smile, tightening his arms around Blaine and giving him a squeeze.

“That’s what friends are for.” he mumbled back, with a small laugh. Blaine pulled back out of the hug and instantly it felt colder around Kurt, but Blaine was grinning as he took Kurt’s hands again for one more spark of reassurance, so Kurt smiled back.

“I’ll tell you about everything later tonight. Wish me luck, okay?” Blaine smiled, Kurt rolling his eyes.

“Like you need luck. Now go, he’s waiting for you!” Kurt urged with a laugh, and Blaine laughed along, slipping his hands out of Kurt’s and racing over to his car, waving at Kurt once more with an excited grin before getting in and making his way out of the lot.

Kurt smiled softly, watching him leave. A small shiver came over him as he felt a breeze slip through his fingers. He rubbed his hands together as he walked to his own car, before looking down at them. Warm when Blaine was holding them... now cold and ungloved. Kurt rolled his eyes at himself before getting into his car.

* * *

 

Kurt’s phone buzzed later that week - a Saturday to be precise - and he was just about to ignore it, keeping himself indulged in his tear jerking movie, until he saw Blaine’s picture pop up on his screen. He never missed one of Blaine’s calls, especially lately since Blaine called more often to gush about Jeremiah. Kurt was his best friend anyway, so if Kurt didn’t pick up the phone that day, Blaine would just talk about it when they got to Dalton on Monday and it was so much easier to pretend to listen when he couldn’t see Kurt’s zoned out face.

It’s not that he didn’t like to listen to Blaine and have a good conversation with him. It’s just that with Jeremiah, Kurt became easily bored with hearing about his “gorgeous hair that you just wanna run your fingers through” or his “beautiful blue eyes that you could just see the ocean in”. Seriously, Kurt had blue eyes too and he never heard Blaine talk so highly about his. What made Jeremiah so special?

Kurt wasn’t jealous. What did he have to be jealous over? Tonight was Blaine and Jeremiah’s first official date, dinner and a movie rather than their constant coffee lunches, there was literally nothing worth being jealous about. And yet...

Kurt clicked the answer button on his phone, and placed it to his ear with a roll of his eyes. “Blaine, you know Saturdays are movie days. Unless Jeremiah kissed you or something major, you’re getting scolded for interrupting.” He warned, popping a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth.

There was a few beats and Kurt furrowed his eyebrows, wondering if Blaine was there. He was just about to call his name before Blaine spoke up. “He did.” he said softly. “He kissed me...”

Kurt paused mid chew, eyes widening. “R - really?” he coughed, then cleared his throat before picking up his remote and turning down his TV. “How was it?”

“It was...”

_Bad. Weird. Awkward. Please, say any of those things. Just say it was bad..._

“Amazing.” Blaine finished with a dreamy sigh. The breath Kurt was holding for an answer he wanted released and he swallowed down the guilt for wanting such a bad thing for his friend. There was a different feeling down in his chest with the guilt, but he chose to ignore it. It was for the best.

“Kurt, I...” Blaine stammered before letting out a short laugh. Kurt gave a weary smile for his friend, feeling happy that he was happy. _Wanting_ to feel happy that he was happy. “I wasn’t even expecting it, he just walked me to my door and I started saying what a nice time I had and he just... kissed me.”

“That’s great, Blaine.” Kurt gave a tight smile, before pulling the phone down to his shoulder, and letting out a stuttering breath.

 _Don’t you dare do it Kurt, don’t you dare_ , Kurt thought to himself, biting his lip before bringing the phone back to his ear to listen to Blaine speak.

“It was, Kurt! Just... imagine the most amazing person ever just deciding to kiss you...” Blaine grinned. Kurt didn’t want to imagine. He had done it so many times before, and doing it now would do nothing but add fuel to the fire. “I don’t know what to say. I’m speechless.”

Kurt nodded with a shaky laugh. “So am I,” he said, and instantly regret it. His voice was broken and weak from holding back and pretending this didn’t hurt when it so clearly did. He could’ve been sure Blaine heard the croak but he prayed to God that he didn’t ask about it.

“Kurt, are you... are you crying?”

Oh yeah. Kurt had forgotten God didn’t exist.

“No, no I’m just...” Kurt paused to regain himself, blinking away tears that thankfully didn’t start to slip out. “I was watching a very sad movie earlier and your happy story gave me such a mix up, I got a little emotional.” Kurt lied, giving away a soft laugh to make it seem like everything was okay.

“Aw, do you want me to come over tonight?” Blaine offered with a chuckle that Kurt returned.

“No, I’m fine. Haven’t you seen me cry enough?” he joked. Blaine let out a short laugh before giving another sigh, staying quiet for a few beats.

“I feel like I’m about to cry myself,” Blaine laughed weakly. Kurt softened at Blaine’s tone, forgetting his own emotions and focusing on his best friend’s. “God, Kurt, this is... people think I have this great life where I get everything, but... this is genuinely the first time I’ve succeeded personally since...”

 _Sadie Hawkins_ , Kurt finished for him in his mind, listening to Blaine clear his throat. Blaine had told him that personal experience about getting hurt, a few days after they had started becoming comfortable enough to sleep over each other’s houses. He told Kurt how he had never felt so low. How he felt like he was broken and disgusting because that's what his abusers told him when they hurt him that night.

That was the first time Kurt saw the cracks in Blaine’s armor and learned to appreciate a little more everything Blaine had done for him.

“The first time since the incident I have actually felt... proud. And happy and...” Blaine let out a sniffle and Kurt touched his heart over how ecstatic Blaine was. He was so happy now and it truly made Kurt happy that something that seemed so simple made somebody as amazing as Blaine actually feel like he was amazing. “I feel like I’m floating Cloud 9.”

Kurt let out a soft laugh alongside Blaine, bringing his knees to his chest and resting his chin on his knees. “I’m so happy for you, Blaine.” Kurt admitted, as Blaine sniffled again, sighing.

“Thank you, Kurt. It means a lot to me that you’ve helped me get this. I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me.” Blaine smiled and Kurt blushed softly, rolling his eyes.

“All I did was sing behind you when you serenaded him,” Kurt laughed, but Blaine was quick to argue.

“No, you’ve done so much more. More than you know. Thank you,” Blaine spoke. Kurt paused, taking in the words. He gave a deep sigh and a nod.

“Hey, that’s what friends do, right?” He smiled. It was fake and the words were rough against his tongue but they came out sweet and sincere, exactly what Blaine needed.

Blaine gave a laugh as he sniffed once more. “Right... thank you for being my best friend.” A loud yawn finished off the rest of the sentence followed by a laugh that Kurt just had to join in on. “I guess I’m worn out tonight. Sorry about that.”

“No, no you go ahead and get to bed,” Kurt insisted. “You’ve had a long day." Blaine gave one more chuckle before yawning again and humming in agreement.

"I guess you're right." He nodded. "I'll talk to you some more tomorrow. Maybe come over so we can do our homework together?" Kurt rolled his eyes at the thought, grinning softly. Doing homework together on Sunday was usually consisting of Kurt finishing his homework while Blaine procrastinated and tried to distract Kurt, then using the puppy eyes when it became late and he had to beg Kurt to see the answers and jot them down.

Kurt didn't mind it much, as long as Blaine knew enough to pass the tests too. Which he always did.

"That sounds nice." Kurt smiled. "Goodnight, Blaine. Sweet dreams."

* * *

 

Kurt found that maybe he needed to start changing his days to relax to Sunday instead of Saturday. It seemed that Saturday was the only day Blaine and Jeremiah could ever go out, resulting in some disgustingly sweet (disgusting for Kurt, sweet for Blaine) story about that entire day that Blaine just needed to call Kurt and share. The first couple of times Blaine called Kurt on Saturday, Kurt wouldn’t mind, pushing his way through all of Blaine’s stories.

Then, as time went on, the envy that sat low in Kurt’s stomach started to build up with every word Blaine told, which resulted in the guilty lies Kurt told to stop listening. He felt awful for telling Blaine that he was going to bed early or that he needed to study when it wasn’t true, but hearing Blaine constantly go on about Jeremiah could possibly kill someone.

He started returning the favor when Blaine would ask more of Kurt than just listening to his story, though, and suddenly, Kurt found himself putting on real clothes instead of his pajamas every Saturday. Kurt would head off to Blaine’s when he called for an outfit emergency or where to go on his new date or whatever else Blaine needed before Jeremiah picked him up in his car that Blaine had bragged so much about.

Kurt thought that was all he needed to do. Thought that he was being a good enough friend, and that considering the circumstances, fate would allow him to not need to do more.

Unfortunately, fate was a bitch.

It hadn’t been maybe more than two months of Blaine and Jeremiah dating when Blaine had all but begged Kurt to not only help him get ready for the movie date he was having later that evening, but to be apart of it.

“Excuse me?” Kurt all but stuttered, turning from his position in front of Blaine’s closet to see him sitting crossed legged on his bed, a faint blush on his cheeks as he fumbled with his fingers nervously.

“I thought it’d be fun if maybe you came along with us.” Blaine mumbled once again, shifting slightly under Kurt’s gaze. “We haven’t spent time together in a while and-”

“And you thought you could fix that by making me a third wheel?” Kurt questioned as Blaine uncrossed his legs to propped them under his butt, a defense mechanism Kurt had learned Blaine did to make himself feel bigger when he got nervous.

“You wouldn’t be a third wheel.” Blaine quickly protested. Kurt slanted his head to the side in question and crossed his arms as he watched Blaine avert his eyes. “I-I mean, I wouldn’t let that happen. I just really miss hanging out with you, and want you and Jeremiah to know each other better.”

“Blaine?” Kurt hummed as Blaine lifted his eyes to look at him. Kurt simply stayed silent, but the glare he had locked on Blaine showed a challenge to get the truth out of him, and it took all but 30 seconds before Blaine was turning away from Kurt’s eyes with a huff.

“Fine...” He sighed, rolling his eyes and falling back into his bed dramatically. He buried his head into his pillow before he spoke, making Kurt sigh as he sat down next to him, tapping him softly.

“I’m sorry, I think I missed that last part.” he said, making Blaine lift his head, his eyes looking down at his hands in shame.

“I said, he wants me to go see the new Paranormal Activity...” he mumbled once again, but loud enough for Kurt to hear, and for him to understand what was going on. Blaine had confided in Kurt once that he was freakishly afraid of horror movies, sheepishly admitting how it felt like he was having a panic attack every time he watched one ever since he was a child.

“Blaine...” Kurt sighed, putting an arm around Blaine’s shoulders when he sat up fully, as Blaine leaned into him with a pout. “Why didn’t you just tell Jeremiah you don’t like scary movies?”

“I _did_ , he just doesn’t understand.” Blaine told, looking down.

“Then why didn’t you just refuse to go, or make him understand?” Kurt questioned once more, this time Blaine looking up at him with sad, brown, puppy eyes.

“I don’t want to make a bad impression.” he mumbled once more, as Kurt scoffed.

“You’ve been dating for almost _two months_.”

“Yeah, and I want to date for longer than _two months_. What if he’s a huge scary movie fan, and breaks up with me because we can’t agree?”

“Then it wasn’t meant to be.”

“ _Kurt_.”

Kurt groaned softly, rolling his eyes at his friend as he unwrapped his arm from around him and stood to finish looking through the closet. Leave it to Blaine to try to change something he hates into something he likes just to impress some college guy. And leave it to Kurt to be so infatuated with him, he’d say yes to being a third wheel. So much for his movie Saturdays.

“You’re an idiot, you know that, right?” Kurt called from over his shoulder, pulling out a shirt from Blaine’s closet. Kurt could basically hear the smile on Blaine’s face as he spoke out an “Yes.”, which in turn, simply made Kurt smile back. “And you know you owe me big time right?”

“Yes.” Blaine repeated more excitedly, standing off his bed, and throwing his arms around Kurt to hug him from behind. “I owe you the world, Kurt Hummel. Thank you so much.”

“Yeah, yeah, just put extra butter on the popcorn.”

And that was how Kurt found himself sitting next to Blaine, as he jumped closer to Jeremiah at every single sound, in a dark movie theater that smelled of popcorn and feet, watching a horror movie he really didn’t want to watch anymore. They were about 3/4 through the movie when Jeremiah had dumbly excused himself to go to the restroom, leaving Blaine jumpy in his seat and knuckles turning white as he gripped onto the cupholders.

Kurt rolled his eyes at Jeremiah’s obliviousness of finding the worst time ever to go to the bathroom, before something jumped out into the screen and Blaine almost had a heart attack, throwing himself as far back into the chairs as possible, closing his eyes tightly, and clutching his chest. Kurt sighed softly in sympathy, his hand moving to take Blaine’s off his chest, and hold it in his.

Blaine jumped slightly at the touch, before opening his eyes and seeing Kurt, sighing as he squeezed his hand a bit. Kurt lifted the cup holder, and Blaine quickly breathed out a “thank you” before going to hold him before Kurt even opened his arms as an invitation. His head buried into Kurt’s shoulder to block out the screen in a way so Kurt’s neck was pressed against Blaine’s ear to block out the sound, all while Blaine’s hand was tightly gripping Kurt’s in fear.

Kurt looked down at the sight, feeling so horrible that someone he cared about was sitting through something that could be compared to torture, and his boyfriend, who was obviously undeserving of the title, was making him sit through it. When the credits finally did roll, Blaine all but ran out of the movie theater, not caring that he was still holding Kurt’s hand and pulling him along, or that there were other people around them that could judge them for what they are, even if they weren’t together.

Blaine took a seat on a bench near the bathrooms as Kurt crouched down in front of him, rubbing his back. “Hey,” Kurt spoke, making Blaine look at Kurt from where he was hunched over and breathing heavily. “I’m really proud of you. But never do that again.”

Blaine gave a sheepish smile, rubbing a hand over his face and rolling his eyes at himself. “I must’ve looked like an idiot.”

“You didn’t.” Kurt spoke up quickly, the hand that was still holding Blaine’s squeezing the latter’s a bit in a reassurance. “I promise.”

Blaine sighed deeply, before giving Kurt one of _those_ looks. One of the looks that showed how appreciative he was to have Kurt as a friend; and that could probably make Kurt do anything for Blaine if he needed it. “Thank you, Kurt.” he spoke, and Kurt smiled back at him, ducking his head with a faint blush on his cheeks that he hoped wouldn’t be noticed. “Where’s Jeremiah?”

And just like that, the moment was ruined.

Kurt shrugged, half-heartedly, not really caring, but had noticed that he had never returned from the bathroom. “I’ll go look for him.” Kurt spoke with a slight smile and Blaine nodded, slowly letting go of Kurt’s hand when he started to stand.

Jeremiah obviously wasn’t in the bathroom for that long amount of time, so Kurt decided to look near the food lines. He scanned them quickly, and after seeing no recognition, he started to turn around, until seeing the blond curly hair of the man he didn’t like at the further end of the theater. Kurt started to walk towards him with an annoyed huff before seeing him with another guy. Flirting.

His eyes widened at the sight that he could barely take in. Really? This is what he was doing all this time? Who the hell did he think he was, letting Blaine sit through something that he _hated_ for this douche while he stayed outside and batted his eyelashes at someone else?

By the time Kurt had walked up to them, he had already planned and rehearsed what he was going to say to Jeremiah; ready to read him a list of why he didn’t deserve Blaine in the first place, insult him for trying to cheat and then storm out with his friend by his side. Which, with all the anger he had against Jeremiah in the first place, wouldn’t be hard to do.

He stood behind Jeremiah, crossing his arms and clearing his throat to earn his attention as he turned around and looked over at Kurt with a raised eyebrow. Kurt’s face turned to the other man, telling him to walk away, which he did with a smile and nod at Jeremiah, before Kurt looked back at Blaine’s soon-to-be ex.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Kurt started, staring at Jeremiah hard. “You left Blaine in there by himself to watch a movie, that could’ve given him a heart attack, to flirt with some other guy on _your_ date?”

Jeremiah paused, playing an obviously false innocent look before saying, “Who said I was flirting?”

Kurt clenched his fists, his eyes narrowing at Jeremiah. “Don’t you dare act dumb, I saw you-”

“You saw me _talking_ to someone. Not flirting.” He spoke, bypassing Kurt and walking in the direction of Blaine before Kurt pulled him back.

“Jeremiah, Blaine may fall for you bullshit, but not me. And I will not let him get hurt over some arrogant asshole who thinks he can pull one over his head.” Kurt snapped in a hushed tone, glaring as Jeremiah rolled his eyes.

“So, what? You’re going to tell him?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because it’ll crush him.”

Damn. That was true. Kurt was silent for a moment, taking a long hard look at Jeremiah before speaking again. “He’s a big kid, he’ll get over it.” He said, turning and starting to move away.

“What even makes you think he’ll believe you anyway?” Jeremiah asked, making Kurt turn.

“Because I’m his friend.”

“Yeah, but you’re not his boyfriend. _I_ am.” Jeremiah spoke. Kurt faltered slightly, his heart picking up, because Jeremiah _knew_ . He fucking knew, and that’s what just made this whole thing worse. That there was a possibility that he could end up with Blaine and rub his relationship in Kurt’s face. “Neither of us wants Blaine to get hurt. So why don’t you forget what you _think_ you saw.”

Kurt shook his head at Jeremiah in disbelief. How in the hell did Blaine decide to be with the biggest ass in the world? “You underestimate Blaine. He’s stronger than who you think he is, and he’s not going stand by you forever.”

Kurt made his way back to Blaine with Jeremiah close behind him, probably making sure Kurt wasn’t going to say anything. He wasn’t though. Not here anyway. It was too public and that wasn’t fair to Blaine. “Found him.” Kurt mumbled uninterested once he reached Blaine as Blaine stood up off the bench.

“Hey babe,” Jeremiah spoke to Blaine, giving him a kiss on the lips as Kurt rolled his eyes, feeling like he was about to puke at the sight. He tuned out Jeremiah’s lame excuse as to where he was, keeping his arms crossed as he waited for them to say they were ready to leave. Blaine was taking a ride home with Jeremiah, obviously, and Kurt had drove so once they were in the parking lot, Blaine immediately pulled Kurt in for a hug goodbye.

“I’ll probably call you tomorrow.” He said as Kurt nodded silently, ready to turn around before Blaine stopped him. “Are you okay? You seem...” Blaine shrugged, not sure what to say, as Kurt nodded with a slight smile.

“I’m fine. Text me when you get home.” Kurt spoke. Blaine gave a long look to Kurt before putting up his index finger, signaling Kurt to wait there as he walked back to Jeremiah. They spoke lowly, Kurt not being able to hear them, but Jeremiah looked displeased so Kurt could only wonder what Blaine had told him before walking back over to Kurt.

“Can I stay over with you tonight?” Blaine asked, not really waiting for an answer before walking to Kurt’s car.

“What? Why?” Kurt spoke, quickly following behind Blaine with a confused look.

“Because I just saw a scary movie, and I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“But why’d you leave Jeremiah?” Kurt asked, as Blaine stopped at the car, leaning against it to look at Kurt.

“Because I didn’t do what I said I was going to do.” Blaine spoke, Kurt giving another confused look. “I made you a third wheel when I said I wasn’t. That’s why you’re upset right? I mean, I know how annoying it must be, but I do care about you and I actually _do_ miss spending time with you-”

“Oh, Blaine, no...” Kurt stopped Blaine, putting a hand on his shoulder, because Blaine was so unbelievably adorable to be worried about Kurt being uncomfortable and try and make up for it with an impromptu sleepover. Jeremiah _really_ didn’t deserve someone like Blaine. “It wasn’t anything you did, I promise. You have nothing to make up to me.”

Blaine nodded with a soft smile at the reassurance before shrugging. “I still wanna stay with you tonight, anyway. I don’t want you going to sleep unhappy.” he said, and Kurt smiled, nodding at him as he walked to the other side of the car and unlocking the doors.

“That’s perfectly fine with me.”

It didn’t take long for them to arrive at Kurt’s house, change into their pajamas, put on a Disney movie to distract both Blaine and Kurt from the different things that were troubling them and get some snacks prepared. Maybe Kurt’s lazy movie Saturdays could still be a thing after all.

Blaine was cozied up close to Kurt, sitting his empty bowl of ice cream on the bed and letting out a slight yawn, blissfully unaware of Kurt looking down at him with fondness. He couldn’t let Blaine go on oblivious to his boyfriend. It would just hurt even more when, god forbid, Jeremiah did more than just “talk” to some other guy. Blaine didn’t deserve to be lied to.

He sat up, drawing out a slight whine from Blaine who was lying comfortably on his shoulder, but also started to sit up after Kurt. “Blaine I need to tell you something.” Kurt spoke, as Blaine gave a concerned look. pausing the movie. “It’s about Jeremiah.”

Kurt’s heart almost broke as Blaine’s face dropped. Why, Kurt wasn’t fully sure, but Blaine was ready to hear some bad news. He spoke up before Kurt could, in a mumble. “You don’t like him, do you?”

Kurt paused - confused, because sure Kurt didn’t like Jeremiah, but he thought he was at least being friendly when he was around him. He wouldn’t want Blaine to feel awkward spending time with the both of them. “What makes you say that?” Kurt asked.

“If you think you’re my best friend and I haven’t learned the difference between you and your acting, then you’re sadly mistaken.”

Kurt gave Blaine a slight smile before pulling him into a hug. He’d hate to say it out loud, but Jeremiah was right. Hurting Blaine like this wouldn’t do much but simply hurt Blaine. He was so happy with Jeremiah, and hopefully Kurt had scared Jeremiah into staying loyal, because he could lose Blaine in an instant. He knew for sure that if this happened again, he would have to tell Blaine, but not now. Not after Blaine worked so hard to get Jeremiah in the first place.

“If you like him, I like him.” Kurt told. He could feel Blaine squeeze him tighter, thankful to hear that.

“Thank you, Kurt.” Blaine mumbled, pulling Kurt closer with a sigh. Kurt closed his eyes, nuzzling his nose into Blaine’s shoulder and inhaling, and like this, he could almost pretend that this hug meant something more. Like Blaine’s heart was beating just as fast as Kurt’s with happiness. Like it was just the two of them. But, Kurt quickly let those thoughts fade, because they were dangerous. They only broke his own heart.

Kurt pulled away slightly to look Blaine in the eyes, with a half smile. “Am I really that pellucid?”

Blaine laughed softly, shaking his head as he pulled away completely to lie down in Kurt’s bed. “Only to me.” he smiled, playing their movie. “And probably your dad.” He patted his hand on the spot next to him, and Kurt happily lied down, resting his head on Blaine’s chest and hearing the light thumping of his heart. And when Blaine dozed off later that night, Kurt didn’t allow himself to imagine that it was just the two of them, because it wasn’t. It was just Kurt.


	2. Air Made of Bricks [2]

**Air Made of Bricks [2]**

Blaine had become quite comfortable around Kurt’s friends as quickly as Kurt had with Blaine’s. After Rachel’s party back in February, Blaine and the New Directions had easily become friends, and ever since, Rachel had been inviting Blaine to her monthly sleepovers. It would be a night with just her, Tina, Mercedes, Blaine, and Kurt, of course, where they could talk about whatever they needed to talk about and do something simple like put on face scrubs and watch musicals without being judged.

It was barely ten when they had decided to break out the nail polish, Kurt painting Mercedes a deep purple, and Tina painting Blaine’s clear. They worked along with the music playing softly in the background as Rachel rummaged through her closet, standing on her toes to try and reach a box.

“Aha!” She exclaimed when she finally got it down, sitting in between the two groups.

“Rachel, what  _ is _ that?” Kurt asked, only glancing at it’s dusty cover before going back to Mercedes nails.

“It’s my M.A.S.H. games. There’s like 50 quizzes that help you figure out your fate.” Rachel spoke excitedly as she opened up the box. “I used to do these all the time when I was younger.” She pulled several packs of cards, each coded a different color; blue for life, green for money, yellow for family, and red for love.

“Why does that not surprise me?” Kurt mumbled, as Mercedes let out a snicker, Rachel rolling her eyes, picking up the ‘love’ pile and scrolling through them.

“Kurt, don’t be a downer. I happen to like fate-based games.” Blaine spoke to him, before looking over to Rachel in approval.

“That doesn’t surprise me either.” Kurt teased louder, to which Blaine rolled his eyes and nudged Kurt with his foot.

“Well, whether you like it or not, Kurt, you’re going to play along because it’s fun and I’m pretty sure you’re going to enjoy it despite what you want us to believe.” Rachel spoke, which, Kurt decided, was probably the absolute truth. She gave him a quick, teasing smile, plucking out a few cards from the deck and passing them out. “Look, there’s zodiac compatibility.”

Tina and Blaine picked up their cards with interest, looking through and thinking of the sign of their partners. Mercedes was interested also, but was kind enough to wait until Kurt was finished before she picked it up cautiously, scanning through it. “Mike is number two on my list,” Tina spoke happily, with heart eyes that made the rest of the room hum.

“Finn is third on mine, which makes sense, because we aren’t exactly the most obvious couple.” Rachel concluded, smiling to herself as she plucked a different card to simply look over.

“Jeremiah is sixth on mine...” Blaine spoke in shock, eyebrows furrowing as if he couldn’t believe that the card would ever tell him something that could be false. “Let me see the Taurus’, maybe I came in higher for his.” he basically commanded, holding out his hand as Rachel quickly passed it to him. Mercedes simply named out her top five, claiming to not being really interested in anyone, before Blaine started speaking again. “I’m seventh on his.”

The room is silent except for the music playing softly in the background as everyone looks at Blaine with sympathy and Kurt gave a little smile to himself. Okay, yes, Blaine did look clearly upset about the whole thing, and that wasn’t okay, but for once, Kurt couldn’t help but think that the “stars” were right for once.

“These are in general, Blaine. It really depends on the chemistry people have, which is always different.” Mercedes tried to assure, and all the girls agreed and nodded, Blaine showing a slight smile in appreciation.

Kurt shook his head at them, before lifting his card in curiosity, and reading his first compatible choice. Then he blushed slightly as he thought maybe the stars were a little  _ too _ right on this, because the number one for Gemini was Libra and Blaine’s birthday was October 18, making him nothing less than Kurt’s number one.

What a tease.

“If it makes you feel any better, you’re number one on my list.” Kurt spoke with a half shrug, sliding his card over to Blaine so he could look at it. Blaine picked it up, and compared it to his, an amused smile on his face.

“You’re number two on mine.” Blaine spoke, and Kurt scoffed, because how dare a stupid card game make him  _ feel _ things like this. Like he and Blaine were meant to be together, which, sure, he had been saying to himself since the day he met Blaine, but they weren’t together, so this wasn’t okay.

“We might as well get married.” Kurt said with a roll of his eyes, standing as he went to get a can of soda out of Rachel’s mini fridge, noticing how suddenly hot it was in that room and how dry his mouth was.

“If only it were legal,” Blaine teased, handing the cards back to Rachel with a sigh as Rachel gave him a different compatibility card to let him try again with Jeremiah. Kurt let out a hum over his shoulder, because what was he even supposed to say to that? ‘ _ If only it were legal _ ’. Ugh, stop.

Kurt turned around, opening the can and stopping midway from taking a sip as he saw everybody except Blaine’s eyes on him, staring at him knowingly. Kurt blushed harder, but scolded at each of them anyway, only heightening their amusement about Kurt’s crush. He hated his friends sometimes.

* * *

 

It had been almost a week since Rachel’s sleepover, and Kurt had felt like he hadn’t spoken to Blaine since. Sure, they had light conversations at lunch and were able to see each other at Warbler practice and in the hallways, but they hadn’t had anytime to actually spend time with one another. Every time Kurt would mention getting coffee or offer for Blaine to come over, he would be dismissed with Blaine’s excuse that he had already made plans with Jeremiah.

Kurt wasn’t mad, of course not. He understood Blaine’s desire to spend time with his boyfriend, but he couldn’t help but feel a little left out. The other Warblers were great to talk to, but he hadn’t looked forward to seeing those specific Warblers every day. He didn’t have little inside jokes with them, or could share certain personal details with them.

And his friends at Mckinley were lovely, of course, but they never understood him as much as Blaine did, and it wasn’t very different now. Not talking to Blaine, Kurt noticed, felt very... lonely. An all too familiar feeling that was etched into Kurt’s face when he walked down the halls, even when he didn’t mean it to be. He hadn’t even really noticed how unhappy he must’ve been looking until people started commenting on it, and he realized that he needed to start fake-smiling more often to avoid the pity looks until something more exciting happened in his life. Still, he longed to talk to someone who just  _ got _ him.

So when Blaine came up to him that Friday, he didn’t even scold himself for how his heart skipped a beat at the sight of seeing him. He had decided to skip lunch that day, Mercedes already having plans to get something after school, and instead went into the library to try and finish up homework early. After twenty minutes, he wasn’t even sure what he was actually reading, starting to daydream at his table until Blaine’s voice rang in his ear.

“Uh oh. Looks like someone’s having a bad day.” He smiled, pulling up a chair next to Kurt, snapping him out of his daydream. He sat in it backwards as he dropped his bag and faced Kurt, his arms folding over the back of the chair. “What’s up, buttercup?”

Kurt smiled at the pet name, shrugging his shoulders. “Nothing,” He spoke, closing his book with a pleasantly surprised smile and falling back into his seat before rubbing a hand over his eyes. “Just tired.”

“Ah, looks like all of this Dalton work is getting to you.” Blaine replied easily, resting his chin on his folded arms as he looked at Kurt sympathetically. “You know you don’t have to study so hard, right?”

“That’s easy for you to say. You seem to be breezing through junior year.”   


“...What do you mean?” Kurt paused, instantly regretting the bitter words he had said, and looked away with another shrug until Blaine urged him on. “Come on, we’ve been honest with each other for this long, I’m not going to hate you over one bad comment.”

“I just...” Kurt started, turning back to Blaine, who waited patiently for Kurt to continue with wide, curious eyes. He was right. This was  _ Blaine _ . The same Blaine who he had confessed and received secrets from, starting with his bullying on the first day he met him. He could be honest with him. “You seem to be doing all of these great, big things and still somehow have time to spare to spend with, you know,  _ Jeremiah _ .”

Blaine let out a light laugh, rolling his eyes at Kurt, but not in a disbelieving or mean way. It was almost as if he saw this coming, and then it was Kurt’s turn to wait, patient and curious. “Kurt... I am just as stressed as you are. With Dalton stacking on papers, and the Warblers disagreeing  _ very  _ vocally in every meeting we have, I am exhausted. Not to mention, I have a performance gig with this girl who is just...” He cut himself off, creating an annoyed face that Kurt found all too familiar from when he had to work with Rachel Berry, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

Blaine shook his head, getting the frustrated thoughts out of his mind before going back to explaining to Kurt. “I hadn’t spent anytime with Jeremiah in a  _ long  _ time, but now he’s on spring break, and I can’t help but to not waste this opportunity and try to see him with the little free time I have.”

Kurt couldn’t help the guilt from being irritated about not having a piece of Blaine’s free time, when he was already stretching himself thin, barely even fitting his boyfriend into his life. He blushed softly, ducking his head as he spoke out a quick “Sorry.”

He felt Blaine’s hand on top of his suddenly, and he looked back up to meet Blaine’s hazel eyes, as Blaine shook his head softly. “Don’t be sorry. I’ve been neglecting my friends lately, especially you, and that’s not fair. You’ve done so much for me and I should be there for you too, so it should be me who is sorry.” Blaine consoled Kurt, who just smiled in return, appreciating that Blaine knew where his bitterness was coming from and wasn’t upset about it.

“In that case, apology accepted.” Kurt said with a tease, causing Blaine to let out a light chuckle. His hand was still on Kurt’s, and he pulled it away without thinking, going to play with the cuff of his blazer.

“So, now that that’s over with, maybe you wouldn’t mind coming over after school and we can do some homework, or maybe... you could look at some of this sheet music I have-”

“Blaine, are you trying to coax me into rehearsing the girl part of yet another flirty duet with you?” Kurt laughed, rolling his eyes as Blaine ducked his head at how obvious he was.

“Well, you have to admit, performing ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ was a lot more fun than sitting around and studying.”

“It was a lot less productive too.” Kurt chattered back, making Blaine laugh softly with a roll of his eyes.

“If I remember correctly, you aced that French test, just like every other test you take. Plus, that time was 100% productive just because you love performing with me.” Blaine shot back with a wink. Kurt’s face flushed a bright pink as he looked down. It was true though. Performing next to Blaine was a lot better than performing behind him. Even though it was only a rehearsal for him to go and sing with a girl, it was always nice to pretend Blaine was singing to him. That they were singing to each other.

Blaine lifted his sleeve to check his watch before sighing and gathering his things. “I have to go, but I’ll see you after school, right? No exceptions, Kurt, I need you.” Blaine added, placing a gentle hand on Kurt’s knee at his last sentence.

Kurt sighed with a smile, trying to avoid Blaine’s large pleading eyes, but knowing he couldn’t say no to Blaine anyway. He had Kurt wrapped around his finger whether he knew it or not. “Fine. No exceptions.” He repeated back to Blaine, earning a large grin that Kurt could feel his heart thump dramatically at.

“Yes! Thank you, Kurt!” Blaine cheered, standing and pulling his bag over his shoulder before going to hug Kurt. “You’re the best, I swear.” He spoke enthusiastically, giving Kurt a large, theatrical kiss on the cheek. “I’ll meet you there at 3:30.” He spoke over his shoulder as he rushed out of the library, earning a few shushes along the way that he sheepishly apologized for.

Kurt, though, sat frozen, watching him leave. His skin was still warm and buzzing from where Blaine had kissed him. Blaine had  _ kissed _ him. It was on the cheek, sure, and Blaine would do this plenty of times with other Warblers if he was excited, so it wasn’t completely abnormal, but... he had never kissed  _ Kurt _ . It was barely anything, but now Kurt knew what Blaine’s lips felt like, and the urge to have that same soft feeling against his own lips was even more powerful.

Kurt quickly collected his books and stuffed them into his bag before rushing out of the library himself. He and Mercedes were going to have a lot to talk about before Kurt could rush off to see Blaine again.

* * *

 

By the time Kurt had arrived to Blaine’s, his heart was beating just as quickly as it was when he had last seen him. Mercedes had failed to calm any emotions he had about Blaine. Actually, it felt as though they were heightened, he realized as he walked up the stairs of the Anderson house to Blaine’s bedroom. The door was unlocked just as the front door was, but Kurt always knocked gently before opening Blaine’s door just in case he caught him in something... scandalous. Why Kurt thought that would actually ever happen, he had no idea, but he could never be sure.

Blaine smiled quickly upon seeing Kurt, turning down the music he had playing through his room and hopping off the bed. Kurt noticed how he had changed out of his Dalton uniform and into a pair of pajama bottoms and an over-sized Ohio State sweater Jeremiah had probably given to him.

Right. Blaine had a boyfriend. A douchebag of a boyfriend, but a boyfriend nonetheless. His cheek kiss was nothing but friendly. Blaine probably hadn’t even thought twice about it after. Kurt felt an all too familiar sinking feeling in his chest as he stared at the blocky red letters on Blaine’s chest.

“Are you okay?” Blaine spoke, snapping Kurt out of his trance as he took Kurt’s bag from him and put it next to his own neatly at the edge of his bed. “You seem a little...” Blaine cut himself off with a shrug. Kurt did his best to smile, hating how he let himself make the whole thing up in his head. Again.

“I’m fine, I’m just tired.” He responded lamely with a shrug back, but it was an excuse that Blaine had no problem accepting.

“Well, once we finish, we can sit and rest all you like. I’ll even give you one of my infamous Anderson back massages for being so nice and helping me when I know you’re loaded on schoolwork.” Blaine hummed, patting a hand on Kurt’s shoulder when he passed by him to collect his sheet music.

Kurt sat on Blaine’s bed with a smile, crossing his hands over his thigh as he waited. “Sounds tempting,” he started, earning a glance from Blaine. “Are you sure we can’t start with that?” Blaine smiled at Kurt with a shake of his head before switching the song on his phone and playing a familiar instrumental tune. He started the song with a hum, slowly gliding towards Kurt and reaching a hand to pull him off the bed. Kurt moved with Blaine, not needing the sheet music to sing along with Blaine.

They ran through the song once with bubbly spirits, dancing around one another as they had done before. Their hands clasped and broke apart effortlessly as they ran through it, smiling and laughing with one another. When the song ended and then repeated, Blaine simply pulled Kurt in his arms, back to chest, and swayed with him, humming the lyrics instead of actually singing them. Kurt laughed softly, fully expecting Blaine to break the embrace after a couple of seconds.

But he didn’t. Instead he just continued to rock Kurt, his chin resting on Kurt’s shoulder as he continued to hum the sweet song into Kurt’s ear. Suddenly, Kurt’s face was a crimson red as his heartbeat sped up and he tried to steady his breathing. He hadn’t been this close to Blaine for this long other than when they shared a bed. And even then, he wasn’t wrapped up in what felt like a romantic embrace.

Blaine’s nose nuzzled into the small spread of skin between Kurt’s neck and collarbone, and Kurt had to stop himself from gasping, trying to appear as calm as possible; much like trying not to move too much when a small animal finally decides to lie close to you. Kurt closed his eyes softly, taking in the feeling of Blaine surrounding him, the music just becoming Blaine’s faint hum in Kurt’s mind.

Kurt knew he shouldn’t have been thinking about it, but he couldn’t help the thought of how much he could get used to this from crossing his mind. Letting Blaine hold him, no matter the reason, and occasionally being able to return the favor. Dancing slowly in a room that he pictured they would be able to call their own. Having Blaine so close like they were the only two people in the world. Kurt knew that there wouldn’t be any feeling that could compare to that. It was basically perfection.

“Kurt?” Blaine spoke suddenly, making Kurt open his eyes. He simply hummed back, almost too dreamlike, too giddy, but he didn’t mind. He was happy. Blaine let out a soft breath onto Kurt’s skin, sitting his chin back on Kurt’s shoulder before speaking again. “I think... I think I love Jeremiah.”

The soft breaths Kurt was trying to control suddenly felt thick and heavy. Blaine’s embrace was suddenly overbearing and he could’ve swore he was sweltering under the pressure of Blaine, waiting for Kurt to say something. Anything.

But Kurt was stuck on his words. One minute, he felt as though he was flying and then the next, he was being pulled down to the ground, quick and aggressive. “How?” was all Kurt could say finally in a faint disbelieving voice.

“What do you mean?” Blaine asked, a bit louder than his confession.

“I mean, how can you love him? It’s only been two months, you barely know him.” He felt Blaine’s hold around him soften and he knew he had said the wrong thing, but once he started, it was like he was spiraling down with worse things to say.

“I think I know him quite a bit by now, thank you.” Blaine spoke, obviously offended, and Kurt sighed in frustration, turning around to face Blaine.

“Do you? I know you like him a lot Blaine, and why, I will never understand, but  _ love _ ? That’s... that’s just-”

“Oh, and what, you’re suddenly an expert on love?” Blaine spat, backing away from Kurt, his defenses building up in way that Kurt never meant to let happen. “I know you don’t like him, but I would at least expect you to be supportive of me. I’m not stupid, Kurt, I think I know my own boyfriend enough to feel something more than ‘liking him a lot’.”

"I wasn't calling you stupid..." Kurt quickly stumbled out, an apology deep in his eyes. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.” Blaine scoffed in response, crossing his arms as he turned his back to Kurt slightly. Kurt took tentative steps towards Blaine, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he tried to think of what to say. He let out a slight huff as he tried to formulate some type of apology. “Blaine-”

“I think you should leave.”

The statement was sharp and concise, hitting Kurt like a bullet to the head. It left him in a stunned silence, his mouth agape until he consciously closed it, scanning the floor as if he could find some words to say in response. It wasn’t his and Blaine’s first disagreement, of course not, but Kurt had never been kicked out of Blaine’s house.   


It took Kurt a moment to move, but when he did, he left no words for Blaine. He couldn’t muster up any, and he knew what he would say wouldn’t be enough. Not now, at least. He simply nodded, collected his bag from where it was placed at the end of the bed and left, closing Blaine’s door behind him. Despite not saying anything then, he knew he would call Blaine the next day, if not that night. They needed time to cool off, and to find their words. Staying and trying to force Blaine to forgive him wouldn’t have helped. They just needed time.

Kurt continued to tell himself that as he tossed his phone in his hands later that night, sitting in his bed and completely ignoring the leftover homework he had that he could’ve finished in ten minutes if he just focused on it. But he couldn’t. He wanted to talk to Blaine. He had so much to say. He went over his apology speech countless times in his head, created some witty joke to break the ice, had a back up plan for if Blaine didn’t forgive him right away, but couldn’t forced himself to call Blaine, or even text him for that matter.

Kurt groaned, lying back on his bed and looking at his phone. He stared at Blaine’s name in his contact list, chewing at his bottom lip as his thumb hovered over it.  _ Just talk to him _ , he thought to himself, his eyebrows scrunching together in frustration. _ He’ll understand. He always does. _

Kurt sighed. He could do this.

Before Kurt had pressed the call button, there was a soft knock at his door. Kurt sat up, mumbling a slight “Come in.” He wasn’t surprised when his father’s face instantly scrunched up at Kurt’s upset one when he walked through the door.

“Whoa, what’s with the face? You look like you just found out some fancy designer died.” Burt questioned, sitting next to Kurt on the edge of his bed, as Kurt slightly leaned in closer to him, his pout never leaving.

“Nothing, just... an argument with Blaine.” Kurt admitted with a sigh.

“Something serious?”

Kurt shrugged, looking down at his phone and tossing it slightly between his hands again. “I hope not.” He spoke quietly as if Blaine himself were listening and could hear how sad Kurt was and eventually break the silence between the two. But he knew that wouldn’t happen, and the more he thought about making the first move, the more words Kurt found himself not being able to say to Blaine. He shook his head, clearing his mind before turning to Burt. “Did you want something?”

Burt shifted, repositioning himself on the bed as he nodded. “Yes, actually. I got a phone call today from Mckinley.”

Kurt sat up straighter in curiosity, his head cocking slightly in question of his old school. “From who, Sue?” he asked, and when Burt nodded, his curiosity only heightened. “What’d she say?”

Burt sighed, rubbing his hand over his forehead in exasperation before answering. “It’s about that Karofsky kid. Apparently he wants to have a sit down with you, apologize and have you go back to Mckinley.”

Kurt felt a cold rush over his spine as he thought of the years he had with Karofsky - the locker shoves, the “faggot” calling, the slushies, and above all, the death threat that made him leave in the first place. “What?” he asked, almost offended by the offer, looking at his father with a confused face. “Why? What does he want?”

“I don’t know, Kurt. Said that he’s trying to turn over some type of new leaf or something. Almost hung up the damn phone before she finished. But I figured I’d hear her out first, and come talk to you. In case you wanted to go meet with them.”

Kurt scrunched his eyebrows together, scoffing at the idea. Of course he didn’t want to go. After everything he and his family had went through to get him out of there, simply to go back at his bully’s request? They must’ve been delusional to even call.

“Now, listen, I know what you’re thinking. I’m almost certain that we’re thinking the exact same thing.” Burt continued. “But before you immediately say no, I want you to take some time and think about it.”

“Why think about it, my answer is obviously not going to change? Karofsky threatened to  _ kill  _ me and barely got a slap on the wrist, I don’t trust anything he has to say.”

“Neither did I. But you gotta think, Kurt. A kid like that doesn’t just go around making promises like this, especially when he already got off easy. Maybe... we should go see what this is about.”

“Are you defending him? Defending...  _ this _ .”

“No, absolutely not. But you know I want what’s best for you, and I’m starting to question if that’s Dalton.”

“What are you talking about? Dalton’s great, I’ve never been bullied there.” Kurt argued.

“Yeah, physically. The Kurt I saw walk into the front door before he went to Dalton is not the same person I’m lookin’ at now. It’s like you’re just becoming some... Dalton clone, hiding behind that blazer.”

“Dad. I’m fine!” Kurt exclaimed, gesturing to himself. “I’m still the same Kurt Hummel as I’ve always been. I’m just trying to fit in. Things are different there, they don’t act the way we do at Dalton.”

“And how do we act?”

“You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t, Kurt.” Burt paused as Kurt huffed, rubbing a hand over his forehead. When he realized his son wasn’t going to speak up, he continued, his tone more serious in a way he only used when he really needed Kurt to hear what he was saying. “How is changing who you are at Dalton any different than changing the fact that you’re gay at Mckinley?”

Kurt’s voice was lost. Burt was right, and that’s what he hated the most. He hated that all of this hard work was for nothing. That no matter how horrible things were at Mckinley, he couldn’t deny that he had spent days at Dalton missing it, even when he wished he didn’t. He just wanted things to be okay. After everything, he just wanted things to  _ finally  _ be okay. “I’m tired of fighting.” He mumbled out eventually, looking down at his hands, for what, he didn’t completely know. “Fighting for things to be okay.”

Burt nodded with a slight sigh escaping. It wasn’t until Kurt had looked up that he had spoken. “You’re gonna have to fight you’re whole life, Kurt. For any and everything in your life, and even more for it to be okay. It’s up to you to decide which things are worth fighting for.”

It was Kurt who was nodding now, as Burt stood and made his way towards the door, stopping for a moment to look back at Kurt. “If you decide by Sunday that you don’t want to go, then we won’t go.” Then he left, leaving Kurt with a decision. And wishing he had someone to help him with it.

* * *

 

Kurt was almost embarrassed to admit that he had spent a good portion of his weekend trying to get in contact with Blaine. He was beyond surprised that he hadn’t answered his phone calls or texts by the time of his meeting with Karofsky, but he hadn’t, and that Monday morning, he had been sitting in his old principal’s office, hearing both side of the argument of coming back. The whole event had made Kurt feel sick to be honest, finding out the real motive behind him coming back, and simply walking back down those halls. He couldn’t deny that he had flinched more than once in the short time he had been there, and he was grateful when it was decided that he could just stay home for the rest of the day instead of going back to Dalton.

And he had been planning on not going. On simply relaxing in bed, and figuring things out in his complex mind. That was until a familiar chirp that he was used to hearing had suddenly stopped.

Kurt hadn’t been sure why it devastated him so much, but it had. It was as if Pavarotti's death had opened up the bottled feelings he had hidden deep, deep, deep down. He had started crying, and wasn’t fully sure when he was going to stop. He cried about Pavarotti, about Mckinley, about Blaine, and about himself. About his life. About how things weren’t fair. About how much he wished he was happy, but he wasn’t. He just  _ wasn’t _ .

Later, when he was able to recollect himself to some degree, he decided to leave his house. He drove to Dalton, and he saw the Warblers. He told them the news and didn’t have to ask for their sympathy, because they finally listened to him. He sung, and he made them listen, and for the first time since he had arrived at Dalton, he felt included. He felt safe just being there, feeling like he didn’t have to try and fit in. He felt like he was being heard,  _ finally _ . He couldn’t explain how refreshing it was, to sing his heart out, and to feel, and to express. He was sure it was one of the best performances he had ever given in his life.

He just wished Blaine was there to see it.

* * *

“Blaine.”

Blaine flinched at the sound of Kurt’s voice, and Kurt instantly regretted calling him with no warning, remembering Blaine had the same bullying PSD he had. He didn’t mean to. He just had to say it before he chickened out of it. He had been staring at Blaine in the hall for at least ten minutes, stopping and backing away until he was semi-hidden once had saw him by his locker. He couldn’t help it. It had been five days. This was the longest he and Blaine hadn’t talked to each other, and he was honestly not sure what to say at this point. If he  _ could  _ say anything at this point, to just make this whole issue go away.

Blaine released a sigh of relief under his breath when he saw Kurt, turning back to his phone to click it off and push it into his pocket. “Hey... I called you Saturday. And Sunday.” Kurt told once he walked up to him. Blaine hadn’t even made eye contact with him, just continued to rummage through his locker. Kurt pretended it wasn’t heart-breaking.

“Oh.” he spoke. “I was busy.”

That was it. That was all he said. Kurt waited for more. For a better response, for an explanation, but... nothing.

“Busy with... homework? Because you know, you could’ve-”

“No, busy with Jeremiah.” Blaine spoke again, a little quicker, a little sharper. And there is was. The almighty, holy reason behind Kurt being ignored, out and proud and damaging Kurt’s friendship. Along with his patience, if he was being honest.

“Oh?” he replied back. “And rehearsal yesterday?”

“I was  _ shockingly  _ still with Jeremiah.”

Kurt gritted his teeth at the answer, fighting with himself to keep his calm. He knew he had offended Blaine before. He had hurt his feelings, and he was wrong to talk to Blaine the way he had. But he apologized, for crying out loud. It wasn’t as if he told Blaine it was either him or Jeremiah. Kurt didn’t deserve this, and he knew it. And he wasn’t just going to sit around and accept it either.

“Wow... So, you’re just publicly avoiding me now? Or are you just so wrapped up in your relationship that you don’t care about anything else anymore?”

The clash of metal made Kurt jump when Blaine slammed his locker, looking at Kurt with so much frustration and anger that Kurt had never seen before. Not directed at him, at least.

“Why can’t you just be happy for me like a normal person?” He stressed, hand still lying against his locker door. If that hadn’t gotten people’s attention - which it obviously did, the sound still ringing in Kurt’s ears - the rise in Blaine’s voice certainly had, making Kurt look around bashfully at the people taking in the scene. Not Blaine, though. His eyes were focused on Kurt, and for once, Kurt wished they weren’t.

“I am happy for you.” Kurt argued, much more hushed than Blaine had been. “I’ve told you that a hundred times.”

“Well, you sure don’t act like it.” Blaine had spat back, just as loudly as he’d been before.

“Why are you screaming at me?” Kurt questioned.

“Because you’re supposed to be my friend! You’re supposed to be supporting me but you’re not! What ever happened to “if you like him, I like him,” Kurt?”

“I  _ am  _ being your friend, I’m just... I’m trying to protect you.”

“Protect me from what? From being happy?”

“Jeremiah’s not a good guy, Blaine. I wouldn’t be saying this if I wasn’t trying to help you.”

“God, Kurt, why are you so...  _ jealous _ ?”

Kurt took a step back at the word, brows furrowing in disbelief. The assumption stung in a way that had Kurt speechless for a moment. Because that’s what it was: an assumption. Kurt had been jealous before, sure, but only in the beginnings of their relationship. Now, all he was was concerned, and Blaine dismissing it as  _ jealousy  _ was just... Who the hell did he think he was?

Kurt could feel his anger bubbling up inside of him. After  _ everything  _ he went through to make sure Blaine was happy in his oh so wonderful relationship with that  _ jackass _ , and this was what he got in return? Amazing. Fucking amazing.

“Excuse me?” Kurt had sputtered out after collecting his words. “Jealous of what, exactly?”

“Of our relationship together. Of me. Of him; I don’t know, Kurt.  _ Something _ . I denied it before, but now... I’m starting to see what Jeremiah was talking about.”

“Jeremiah!” Kurt shouted in incredulity. “Of course. Of  _ course  _ he would tell you something a  _ vacuous  _ as that. It must be really hard to swallow down all of the  _ bullshit  _ he feeds you.”

Blaine rolled his eyes at Kurt, shaking his head. “That’s funny coming from you.”

“You know what, Blaine? It is. It’s fucking hilarious coming from me, considering that I was the person who has been with you from the beginning of this entire relationship. I was the one helping you not only get, but keep Jeremiah as a boyfriend. I listened to you talk about him for  _ hours,  _ helped you get ready for  _ your  _ dates, even went on one  _ with  _ you when you were too nervous. And you call me jealous? You say I’m not being a good friend when you won’t even answer your phone when I need you the most. But I must be  _ such  _ a horrible, jealous person if Jeremiah says so.”

Blaine was silent. It was the loudest silence Kurt had heard in a long time. His gaze was on Blaine, waiting for him to say something. Anything. But he didn’t. Kurt should’ve been satisfied, because he knew he was right, and Blaine knew he was right, but instead, it just hurt.

He knew he was going to cry. The longer he stared at Blaine, the tighter his chest became, and the harder it was to breathe the heavy air. So he forced himself to say something, just to break the deafening silence. Anything.

“Pavarotti died.” he mumbled, just loud enough for Blaine to hear. “But you probably know that being the good friend that you are.”

Kurt didn’t stay to see Blaine’s reaction, or to hear the words that Blaine could’ve said. He walked past him, head held to the ceiling, inhaling through his nose as he held it together. Suddenly, it was clear why Kurt had put up such a fight to stay at Dalton. It was even more clear now, though, that he had been absolutely wrong. This wasn’t a place for him. He didn’t belong here. He never did.


	3. Forever Excusing Your Intentions [3]

**Forever Excusing Your Intentions [3]**

The entire process of leaving Dalton had been extremely awkward. Avoiding Blaine, though, was the hardest part of the entire thing.  _That_  was what made the transition awkward.

There was no doubt that Blaine was one of the most popular - if not  _the_ most popular person at Dalton. Most of Kurt's friends he had met through Blaine, and after their very public heated discussion, most were either choosing sides, sharing their time between the two, or just there to try and figure out the details, which Kurt did not discuss. With them, at least.

It wasn't soon after the debate that Kurt had called up his Mckinley friends to not only let them know the news of returning, but to also vent to them about what had happen. It was a short and painful talk over the phone that lead to his females friends coming over abruptly later that night to console and swear to have Blaine's head on a stick for hurting Kurt, letting Kurt know that he made the right choice in coming back.

Kurt had already told the Warblers his choice in leaving the school the day Pavarotti died, which they had been upset about, of course, but supported Kurt nonetheless. He had never told Blaine, though. He hadn't talked to him after the fight, and he figured that the news would get around to him through his friends. He knew it wasn't fair to the boy he used to call his best friend, but Blaine lost all rights to fairness from Kurt the moment he decided Kurt wasn't a friend at all. It just saved him the heartache to think he wouldn't have to be the one to tell him.

He hated to say that he stayed up later than he had liked thinking about his decision to not tell Blaine, but avoiding him rescued Kurt from confrontation that he wasn't ready to have. They still had class and Warbler meetings, so it wasn't that easy to avoid  _seeing_ him, especially with the competition so close, but he did what he could, making sure he kept a straight face around him.

He avoided looking towards Blaine, even when he felt his eyes on him, and when things were finished, he was almost always the first one out the door, making sure Blaine couldn't speak to him even if he wanted to. He abandoned the little places in Dalton he knew they both liked to reside, figuring it was only right to give it up with him leaving in a week. He even stopped having lunch there all together; instead going out to eat, usually with friends.

It made things easier that way, distracting himself from all the tension at Dalton. It had been with Rachel after a few days of getting lunch out that Kurt had finally opened up about the whole debacle again, explaining how unsettling the entire thing was over a cup of coffee.

"So, now you're doing the same thing to him, with all the ignoring and being upset?" she piped in after Kurt had finished speaking, taking a sip of her coffee as she waited for him to answer.

"It's different. I have an actual reason to be upset with him. And it's not like he's actively seeking me out like I was for him. He's doesn't even seem to care. And if he did, he's doing a poor job at showing it." Rachel nodded, chewing down at her bottom lip in silence. For any other person, this could've been a natural response, but knowing Rachel Berry - the person who had an opinion on everything, this was weird. "What?" Kurt questioned after a while with a sigh.

"I've just... I've always liked Blaine." Rachel spoke, slightly cowering at the end of the sentence as she got the face she expected from Kurt.

"Well, so did I, Rachel. I didn't exactly ask for a reason to be angry with him." Kurt snapped, brows furrowing in disbelief that  _that_ was her defense.

"I know, I'm not saying you were," Rachel spoke quickly. Kurt slumped back in his seat with a roll of his eyes as he crossed his arms and waited for her to continue. "It just doesn't seem right for you guys to just be going your separate ways after this. Without even working it out."

"He hasn't even tried to apologize, Rachel."

"And you don't seem that keen on accepting that apology when he does." Rachel reminded, making Kurt huff in defeat. It was a moment before Rachel started speaking again, waiting for Kurt to return her gaze. "I'm not saying that you need to forgive him right away. Just that when he does apologize - and he will," Rachel quickly worked in an additional part of her sentence, already seeing Kurt prepare to question if Blaine was going to apologize at all. "That you at least hear what he has to say."

Kurt shook his head softly, looking down at his hands. "You don't know what he said to me, Rachel.  _How_ he said it. He put me and Jeremiah up against each other and just picked him like I never meant anything to him. How am I supposed to listen to him?"

A warm hand was suddenly on Kurt's, and he looked up when Rachel gave it a squeeze of reassurance. "Stupid people do stupid things when they're scared." Kurt nodded at Rachel's words and with that they didn't speak of the topic for the rest of their break.

Kurt had found himself back at Dalton before his lunch break was even over after Rachel had to go for a sudden emergency New Directions meeting. She kissed him on the cheek and wished him luck and then here he was, walking through semi empty hallways on a trail to his locker to get his books before rehearsal. It wasn't until he had saw his familiar short Dalton boy waiting for him there that he wondered if Rachel's whole "hear him out" speech was actually planned, quickly turned on his heel, and realizing he could survive without going to his locker today.

"Kurt!" Blaine quickly called out upon seeing him, running up to him and stopping Kurt before he could actually make any distance between them. "Please wait, I need to talk to you."

"I need to go, I left my phone somewhere." Kurt quickly excused himself starting to walk away before Blaine stopped him again.

"Kurt, your phone is in you hand..." he sighed lamely.

"Oh, well, would you look at that?"

"Kurt please, just-" Blaine cut himself off, face scrunching up in anguish, and for a moment, Kurt had the instinct to lean into Blaine and hug him. To tell him that things were okay like he had so many times before. But he didn't. Even then though, his feet wouldn't let him walk away, and he waited patiently for Blaine to speak. "You're leaving Dalton."

It wasn't a question, just a statement, but Kurt nodded his head anyway in verification, watching Blaine swallow hard and lose his words. "If that's all, then I'd really to leave now." Kurt mumbled before Blaine shook his head quickly.

"It's not, I swear, I'm just..." Blaine let out a breath, looking around them in a way of trying to avert his eyes from Kurt's gaze, and Kurt knew exactly why. "I didn't think you were going to leave." he spoke, voice wavering, and god, Kurt hoped Blaine wasn't doing what he thought Blaine was doing. "You said you loved it here. That it was better than Mckinley and that you were safe here and... the Warblers are going to be devastated-"

"I think the Warblers are going to be perfectly fine without me, Blaine."

"They're not." Blaine piped in, and then Kurt could see it. The unshed tears that Blaine was trying to hide in his eyes. "Kurt, they're not."

Kurt paused, licking his suddenly dry lips as he tried to gather his words. "Well, what do you want me to say Blaine? I'm not happy here. Not anymore, and...  _the Warblers_ can't keep me trapped here for them to just throw away and expect to come back."

"That's not what they're doing. That's not what they meant to do, Kurt." Blaine pleaded as Kurt scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Well, maybe the Warblers can tell me that for themselves." Kurt was ready to walk away, but Blaine was quick to hold him back again, speaking before Kurt could protest.

"Kurt, I - I'm sorry. I'm  _so_ sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me, because... I don't deserve your forgiveness. You're right, I've been  _terrible_ to you. I only thought about myself and my problems, and I took it out on you. But I'm so sorry. For screaming and saying those things that I said, and doing all of that stuff to you that you didn't deserve. And I'm... I'm  _so_ devastated that you're leaving because I can't remember what Dalton was even like without you, and if you're leaving because of me then... God Kurt, I'm so sorry. Please just know that I'm sorry and that I  _never_ meant to hurt you."

Kurt was silent for a long time, taking in the entire apology, holding on to every word. He took a breath, trying his best to stay composed as he looked at Blaine - which was harder than it had been before - and asked, "Is that all?"

The look on Blaine's face was enough to make Kurt want to give in. To let his guard down for a moment and stop being mad because they both were hurting, and what good was this doing? Why was he doing this?

Blaine's hand let go of Kurt as he looked down at his feet. He found himself not even being able to speak, simply nodding at Kurt's question as he wiped his hands over his face quickly, mouth forming a tight line on his face. "Thank you for apologizing." Kurt said lowly.

Blaine sniffed softly, looking back up at Kurt and nodded once more. There was an awkward beat between the two before Blaine was turning, walking in the opposite direction. Kurt bit into his cheek, his eyes squeezing shut for a moment as he tried to think, but couldn't. His head was spinning with the thousands of thoughts in there, and his chest was tight from the constant tugging Blaine had done. Why did he always do that?

He knew he just wanted the conversation to be over, and he was so relieved when Blaine had finally ended it, and yet, he couldn't stop himself. As much as he wanted to walk away and tell Rachel he tried but simply couldn't work it out, he knew that he wanted to, and the words came stumbling out as if he couldn't leave that spot until Blaine knew. "I'm not leaving because of you!"

Blaine stopped. Kurt questioned if Blaine was going to ever turn around as he waited, but Blaine did, and if Kurt thought he was relieved before then this was an entirely new high of alleviation. "Then why are you?"

"Like I said, I'm not happy here. I feel trapped. I miss being myself and having friends."

"You have friends here." Blaine protested.

"It's not the same. You and I both know that." Blaine was silent again, but it was a calming silence this time. One that assured Kurt that Blaine knew what he meant and wasn't going to argue further on that topic. "But you were right. I did love it here. It's  _so_ much better in comparison to Mckinley. Everyone was nice, and I felt so safe here, but... well, I've never exactly been one to sacrifice my freedom for safety, and I just feel trapped here. I think I always have, I just wished I didn't."

"I wish you didn't either." Came a mumble from Blaine. There was another hesitant silence before Kurt let out a sigh, looking around them and taking a few steps closer to Blaine.

"That doesn't mean I'm not going to miss it here," he claimed, smiling softly to himself. "Dalton was like another home to me, and I looked forward to coming here every day. How can I not be sad about leaving? I met my best friend here..." The words caught Blaine's attention, his expression softening, a flash of hope as he waited for Kurt to continue. "Pavarotti, I meant." Kurt quickly added in.

And then, there was a booming laugh, cutting straight through the tension. It was so genuine and full of content and relief; a laugh that one could only hear from a joke as dumb as the ones Kurt would tell, but somehow always made Blaine laugh. It was thrilling the affects the sound had on Kurt, a sound he felt like he hadn't heard in a  _very_ long time. The way it was contagious and made Kurt burst out laughing also, the way it made his smile spread a little too brightly for a joke based on a dead bird - may he rest in peace.

The way it spread through Kurt until he was feeling lighter. The way it made Kurt's heart do it's tiny thumping dance in his chest that was only reserved for two things: his New York City daydreams, and Blaine Anderson. The way it made his feet move closer to Blaine, and Blaine's feet move closer to him as they finished their fit of giggles, smiling widely at each other. The way it made Kurt want this feud to be all over.

Blaine calmed his laughter, giving Kurt a look that so clearly said ' _I'm going to miss you.'_ Kurt didn't need him to say it, because he knew. After being by someone's side every day, Kurt just knew, and he was positive Blaine could read the look on his face just as well. "I know that you may still be upset with me, which I understand completely," Blaine started, clearing his throat softly as Kurt waited. "But would it be overstepping if I asked for a hug right now?"

"Yeah, it would." Kurt answered, nodding. Blaine was barely able to get disappointed before Kurt was talking again, keeping his eyes on him. "But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to hug you back."

Blaine's arms were around him, strong and tight, but not in an uncomfortable way. Just tight enough to show how much Blaine had missed his best friend as much as Kurt had. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's torso, closing his eyes and enjoying the embrace. Only did they pull back when Blaine questioned Kurt, just enough so they could make eye contact. "What about Karofsky?"

"He shouldn't be a problem anymore. He wants to try and turn over a new leaf." Kurt repeated his father's words. The skepticism on Blaine's face was laughable, and Kurt couldn't help but pull Blaine back in for another hug, letting out a few more chuckles.

After a while, Blaine questioned Kurt again, this time not breaking the hug. "What about us?" It was a soft, sad question, and Kurt couldn't have admitted that he hadn't thought about it, because he had. He had avoided the thought just as he had avoided Blaine before, but there was no way of avoiding it now.

Kurt choked on his words so instead he just hugged Blaine tighter, and Blaine had no problem with doing the same. He bit his lip as he thought, mumbling words into Blaine's shoulder that he hoped would be enough.

"I'm never saying goodbye to you."

 

* * *

 

The next few days had passed in an exciting blur for Kurt. After making up with Blaine, it was as if all of fate was in his favor and things were finally looking up for him in the best ways. Immediately after his and Blaine's discussion in the hall, Blaine hadn't waste any time making it up to Kurt. Later that day, he had announced that he had wanted to do a duet with Kurt as a parting gift, and as a way of "showing the world true unacknowledged talent." The Warblers took a vote and it had been decided that they would duet for Regionals. It was the first time Kurt had found himself performing a solid part in front of a large audience that weren't just his friends and family.

He had been excruciatingly nervous. Even as he approached the spotlight that night, he had felt an insincere twist in his stomach, though he had succeeded in not showing it. Despite the constant fear that he wasn't going to, he had remembered all of his words and routines, though. And he had done it well.

Despite finding out that the Warblers had lost Regionals later that night, Kurt was still genuinely proud of himself for the performance he was able to give, and he knew his teammates were as well. They celebrated together in spite of their loss, and cheered to making it as far as they had; all while wishing Kurt a safe trip back to Mckinley.

It was at Pavarotti's funeral the next day that Blaine voiced once again how well Kurt had did. Though it was only an attempted distraction to help Kurt from reminding himself of his mother's funeral - which Kurt silently thanked Blaine for even knowing he needed a distraction - the compliment was still sincere and Kurt appreciated it. They had spent the complete Sunday together, slightly mourning Pavarotti's death with hot chocolate and window shopping, while also trying to ignore the sudden fact that Kurt wouldn't be at Dalton the next day.

By the time Kurt was arriving home, it was clear that Blaine had wanted to stay the rest of the night with Kurt, both not realizing the sad truth of not being able to say 'see you tomorrow' until they hesitated at Kurt's front door.

Kurt knew by the way Blaine waited for Kurt to invite him in instead of just giving a hug that Blaine wanted to stay. He knew by the way Blaine had lied back on to Kurt's pillows instead of just sitting up with crossed legs when Kurt suggested a "quick" movie. He knew by the way Blaine hinted that he was cold by pulling the covers closer until Kurt had no choice but to move in closer to Blaine until they were spooning, his arms around Blaine so he could relish in Kurt's hold and body heat.

It had been clear to Kurt because Blaine's desire to stay was as strong as Kurt;s desire to have him stay with him. Their emotions were in sync; Kurt was sure Blaine had already texted his parents to let them know he was staying with Kurt before he even walked into Kurt's home. So, Blaine stayed the night with Kurt, both too comfortable in being back together to be apart again.

When morning came, Blaine was up and dressed before Kurt was even awake, needing to leave earlier to make it to school on time. He informed Kurt he was leaving in the gentlest way he could think of - knowing Kurt wasn't exactly the kindest person when he was awoken before he needed to be. Blaine rubbed Kurt's back gently enough for him to open his eyes and receive the coffee Blaine had made for him, which Kurt gave a drowsy smile to, inhaling the scent before thanking Blaine. He then allowed Kurt to hold him back from leaving for a few minutes so he could awaken himself enough to give Blaine a hug and mumble in his sleepy haze, "This isn't goodbye. Never saying goodbye."

Blaine squeezed Kurt in their hug and mumbled back an, "I know." before giving Kurt a smile and leaving.

The promise was quickly repeated once more to Blaine later that day in a way Kurt had completely unexpected. He had arrived at Mckinley soon after Kurt had returned, and before Kurt knew it, the Warblers were singing in the courtyard.

They were singing to him, some with misty eyes and some not. It was while Kurt had hugged each one of them and heard their farewells that he knew he had to tell Blaine again. As a way of reassurance and a way to thank him, and a way to stop Blaine from thinking whatever thoughts that made him one of those few misty eyed Warblers who were singing a goodbye to him, instead of a 'see you later'. So when the song was finally finished and Kurt was wrapped tightly in Blaine's embrace, he said it again, not letting go until he was sure that Blaine believed him.

"I'm never saying goodbye to you."

* * *

 

 _We miss you_.

Three simple words. The text was enough to distract Kurt from the performance that was in front of him as he sat with the rest of the New Directions, prepping for Nationals. Attached was a photo of Kurt's Warblers huddled around a cage of miniature yellow birds in pet shop, all sharing very distressed looks, and Blaine, always needing to be the most dramatic, on his knees in the center, throwing his hands up to the sky in agony. Why they were taking pictures in pet shops, Kurt didn't question. He simply laughed at the photo, saving it into his phone and typing out a quick reply that he missed them just as much and that he was free for coffee after practice.

It was a long week of not seeing Blaine, Kurt had realized. He had been too busy catching up with Mckinley to do anything else, and Blaine had respected that, but it was obvious that he was anxious to steal Kurt's freetime when he had it. Kurt couldn't lie, he liked the attention.

Blaine would text every day to ask what Kurt was up to, how he was settling in, if he was available to get lunch or go to the movies. The answer had been always been no, because Kurt hadn't been, but there was always something weirdly pleasing when Blaine would follow up with a text saying, "Okay, I'll be here when you are." After following Blaine around for so long, it was nice to bask in how much Blaine wanted  _him_ now. Not in the most ideal kind of want like Kurt had for him, but Kurt wasn't complaining.

When he had arrived at the Lima Bean, Blaine was already at a table, playing with his phone. A smile hit Kurt's face instantly as he walked over to him, Blaine standing to greet and hug him.

"Geez, who knew you'd become Mr. Popular once you returned to McKinley? I started to worry that you had moved on from Dalton already." Blaine spoke with a light chuckle, sitting down with Kurt as he slid him the coffee he had already ordered while waiting for Kurt.

"What can I say? I'm a wanted guy. I can't please everyone, Blaine." Kurt bantered back, making Blaine chuckle a little more as Kurt took a sip of his coffee with a hum. There was a warmth from both the drink and the feeling of Blaine knowing his coffee order, the giddiness of Blaine knowing Kurt well enough to order or answer anything for him never dying down. "Plus, Dalton's not exactly a place you can just forget about through educational downgrades and high school glee drama."

"I see you're having a fun return." Blaine spoke with a questioning raise of his brow.

"Oh, simply the best." Kurt spoke back sarcastically before frowning, his hand reaching for Blaine's. "I miss you guys, why did I ever leave?"

"Because it was what's best for you." Blaine answered matter of factly, his hand turning to give Kurt's a squeeze of reassurance, making him smile. "Don't give into nostalgia, Kurt. Stay strong."

"I would think you would be the first person to get me to give in and come back to Dalton..."

"Well, don't be mistaken, I want you back  _a lot_ ," Blaine told easily, his eyes watching their hands together, distracted, as his thumb traced the back of Kurt's hand - the words and gesture forcing a fluttering feeling in Kurt's chest. "I just know that's not what you want. My main concern is to make sure you're comfortable and happy."

"How considerate," Kurt breathed out, a soft smile on his lips when Blaine finally looked up at him again.

"I wouldn't exactly call it considerate to not be selfish and keep you all to myself."

"Well, if you saw how many people have tried to, you'd call it considerate too. Everyone wants me for themselves, it's exhausting."

"Oh yeah? Well, I may have to have a little talk with these obsessive fans of yours, tell them to back off some unless they wanna deal with me."

"Ooh, maybe you should. I like the strong, fight-y boxer Blaine. He's hot."

The words slipped out before Kurt was able to stop them, his eyes widening comically at himself. He had never called Blaine 'hot' before. 'Dapper', 'handsome', the occasional 'cute', sure, but never  _hot_. The words felt forbidden said out loud just as it had when he had described Blaine as sexy after a very embarrassing slight sex talk in his room; only feeling safe in his wandering thoughts but never out loud, and never said to Blaine.

Kurt's expression went unnoticed though, Blaine missing it as he ducked his head with a soft laugh. It wasn't until Blaine looked up a bit more, his eyes focusing on their hands again, this time less distracted and with more purpose, that Kurt could see the blush on Blaine's cheeks. It wasn't a strange thing to see, Blaine not usually being one to be able to hide his emotions from showing up on his face, especially when he was flustered.

But it was strange to know that Kurt had been the one to cause it. That he even had the  _ability_ to cause Blaine to blush. To scrunch up his nose with nervous laughter, shaking his head like there was no way the compliment he was receiving could ever be true. To be so flattered that he actually got nervous, as if Kurt's opinion on if he was hot or not mattered. It was so strange. But  _god_ , was it fucking adorable.

The urge to never stop complimenting Blaine was sudden, and Kurt had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying some things that would definitely cross the platonic line straight into shameless flirting.

"Well, let's hope I don't actually have to show that side of me outside of a workout, despite how attractive it is." Blaine laughed through his sentence, trailing off as his phone dinged with a message. He glanced at the screen before quickly turning the phone on silent and looking up at Kurt.

Kurt furrowed his brows in confusion, looking between the phone and Blaine. "Giving someone the cold shoulder?" he questioned, taking another sip of his coffee as Blaine looked down for a moment.

"Yeah, sort of. It's just Jeremiah, it's nothing." he spoke, sparking Kurt's curiosity even more.

"Are you sure? Do you wanna talk about it?"

Blaine paused, his eyes looking up at Kurt to read his face as if he wasn't sure if Kurt was serious or not, and then Kurt realized: he hadn't heard a word about Jeremiah since his and Blaine's fight. Not once was he mentioned in their conversations, nor did Kurt see him at Regionals, where he should've been supporting Blaine. There were no cancelled plans, or things pushed around so Blaine could spend time with his boyfriend; it was him and Kurt. Blaine was prioritizing Kurt again, so much so that he had stopped talking about his trainwreck of a love life, simply focusing on Kurt when Kurt was around, and no one else. No wonder why things seemed so peaceful and serene.

"Blaine," Kurt started, giving Blaine's hand a squeeze as he sat up a bit more. "You can still talk to me about this stuff. If something's going on, I'm always here to listen no matter what. You can talk about Jeremiah if you need to, I'm not going to scream at you."

Blaine smiled softly at Kurt, thanking him with his eyes as he mumbled out an "Okay." Despite Kurt's words of encouragement, Blaine still seemed stuck on what to say, so Kurt decided to start and let Blaine fill in the blanks.

"What happened, did you two break up?" He asked.

"No," Blaine spoke, shaking his head. Kurt forced himself to not sigh in disappointment as he kept his face straight, waiting for Blaine to continue. "We're sort of on a break. After our fight, I really thought about what you said. We were already having issues, and then you telling me how he wasn't a good person for me was just like a slap in the face. We just got into this big argument after and said some things that we didn't mean, but I don't know... I just need some time away from him."

Kurt nodded as he listened attentively, his thumb tracing patterns on Blaine's skin now to comfort him. Despite not being fully broken up, Kurt couldn't help but be glad that Blaine had at least came to his senses about Jeremiah. It was better this way, Kurt knew. Jeremiah was an asshole, and Kurt would go to his grave saying that the bastard never deserved his friend in the first place.

He bit his lip as he thought about what Blaine said and wondered if Blaine knew about that night at the movies, or anything that happened after for that matter. He wanted to ask, but worried about voicing his curiosity. If Blaine didn't know then it would be just adding on to the problem. Jeremiah would be gone soon anyway, Kurt was sure he could spare Blaine the extra heartache over something he didn't have any real evidence over.

"Well, if it's any consolation, I'm positive he's regretting ever taking you for granted." Kurt said instead of his thoughts.

"Oh, I know he is," Blaine said with an edge in his voice. "He hasn't stopped texting me since; it's doing nothing but pouring salt into the wound. All I want is just some really big distraction so I can stop thinking about him."

"And all I've been doing is declining you all week while you were going through this..." Kurt spoke, appalled at himself before Blaine squeezed his hand.

"No, no you're fine." He quickly assured. "I know how busy you've been with catching up, I understand. I don't expect you to be at my side to listen to my dumb problems 100% of the time."

"They're not dumb," Kurt told, assuring Blaine just as quickly as he had been. "And I'm here now." Blaine gave another thankful smile that made Kurt smile in return, taking a sip of coffee in thought before humming. "There's a get together happening tonight at Rachel's. I was going to skip out, but maybe it could be fun if we went together."

"Are you sure? Don't you have an essay due Monday or something?" Blaine questioned with a worrying tone as Kurt shook his head.

"Half of it is already finished, and you need a distraction, so yes, I am sure. As long as you don't kiss Rachel again."

Blaine laughed, ducking his head in embarrassment of the night that he almost wished he was too drunk to remember. "Okay, deal." he smiled with a nod. His eyes met Kurt's again, thumb brushing against Kurt's hand absentmindedly, making the flutter in his chest return. This time, Kurt embraced the feeling instead. He let the bubbliness show, his smile growing a little bigger as he laughed along with Blaine. Blaine, who was on a  _break_. Blaine, who blushed when Kurt complimented him. Whose main concern was that Kurt was comfortable and happy. Who saw Kurt as a priority. Who Kurt was so smitten over it wasn't even funny.

The person he was going to admit that to once this break was over and Jeremiah was gone and Kurt could finally say all the things he had been holding in since Valentine's Day. He had to. He couldn't allow himself to make the same mistake twice. He couldn't let Blaine slip away again.

 

* * *

 

It had been decided that Blaine would meet at Kurt's house and they'd take a cab to Rachel' Kurt had no intention in drinking, Blaine had insisted in case Kurt would change his mind or become too tired to drive, not wanting to become a burden that Kurt absolutely had to keep watch over and not be able to enjoy himself. "Better safe than sorry." He had said in a sing song voice, and Kurt had no option but to agree.

Looking back on it now, Kurt was very grateful about the decision because he was beginning to stress. He hadn't prepared to go to a party tonight. more specifically a party with  _Blaine_. It was as if any suitable clothes Kurt  _thought_ he had were either not cooperating or had somehow disappeared, leaving him frustrated in his underwear close to eight.

There was a knock at his bedroom and Kurt quickly pulled on his robe before shouting a "Come in," playing with his slightly damp hair in the mirror with a sigh.

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice appeared where Kurt had expected his father's, making his heart speed up twice as fast as it had before, leaving him with an embarrassing blush on his face and neck that he hoped Blaine would pretend not to see. Of course, he was early. "Hey, why aren't you dressed?"

"I have nothing to wear." He admitted in a grumble, tying his robe tighter around his waist and trying to prevent himself from becoming bashful in Blaine's presence. The other boy didn't seem to be alarmed, so why should he be?

"Oh, I doubt that." Blaine scoffed, closing Kurt's door after stepping in and going straight to his closet. "May I?" he asked, which Kurt gave a half hearted nod to, watching as Blaine went through hangers just as Kurt had done for him so many times before.

"It's true, there's nothing in there." Kurt huffed, plopping down on the bed and subconsciously pulling his sheets over his legs to cover himself a bit more. He allowed Blaine to dig through his closet despite his statement, admiring the casual outfit he had on instead. A navy short sleeved button down that clung to Blaine's biceps perfectly, and a pair of dark skinny jeans that Blaine filled out all too well - both thing Kurt pretended not to notice. He would've probably been caught staring, though, it it hadn't been for Blaine letting out a fascinated hum before turning around to meet Kurt's eyes, a pair of unworn leather pants in his hands and an amused grin on his face.

"What are  _these_?" Blaine spoke with enthusiasm as Kurt stood with a shake of his head.

"A pair of pants that were only an impulse buy for fantasizing about wearing in the very  _far_ future. There's no way I can pull those off without at least a knee length sweater, which I won't fully object to but may die of a heat stroke." Kurt laughed at the idea of even trying to put those pants on tonight as Blaine loosely crossed his arms.

"So, you're perfectly fine with wearing pants that were basically being held together by safety pins up the sides, but leather pants crosses the line?"

"Yeah,"

"Oh, yeah, I understand. Put them on." Blaine nodded before pushing the pants into Kurt's hand, the smirk still playing on his face before he turned back to Kurt's closet.

"What? No,  _impulse buy_ , Blaine. I just like looking at them, that's why they still have the tag on them." Kurt protested but was just met with another item of clothing being dropped in his arms.

"Then that means you'll enjoy looking at them even more on you. I'll be downstairs." Blaine smiled, and before Kurt could even object again, he was walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

Kurt stood, looking at the clothes in his hands in disbelief. It took a half hour to dress himself, admittedly a third going to trying to find something else to wear and failing and another third simply trying to pull the pants on. By the time he actually looked in the mirror though, he couldn't deny that Blaine had picked out a pretty nice outfit. The shirt he had given Kurt was a burgundy button up that Kurt easily paired with a pair of matching boots and a silver and black statement tie, and the pants, well, they fit a hell of a lot better than they did when Kurt had first bought them. He actually looked... hot.

Kurt hummed in approval of himself before grabbing his things and heading downstairs. He wasn't surprised to find Blaine sharing a conversation with his father in the kitchen as he waited, so engaged in whatever topic they were talking about that Kurt had to clear his throat to get their attention. "Okay, I'm ready. Did you call a cab?"

"You're catching a cab?" Burt piped in immediately, looking between the two as Kurt nodded.

"We'll be safe, though, I promise. Don't worry, I doubt I'll actually drink anything at all." he reassured.

"Well good. Someone's going to need to have their head on them and make sure you both are okay." Burt spoke, patting Kurt's shoulder before looking over to Blaine. "No offense, kid."

"Hm?" Blaine hummed slowly, his eyes meeting Burt's in a slightly confused daze. There was a quiet pause before a realization that Blaine hadn't stopped looking at Kurt since he walked into the room; both sets of Hummel eyes on him as he shifted, a soft redness appearing on his cheeks. "No offense taken, I didn't exactly make that great of a first impression last time." He finally spoke, glancing between the two and clearing his throat. "Anyway, the cab's been waiting outside for a while, so..."

"Right," Kurt spoke up in attempt to fix the mood despite the bit of blush rising on his cheeks also. "Finn must be wondering where we are by now. Let's go." With a quick goodbye to Burt, Kurt led Blaine out of his home to the car waiting out front, his arm looped around Blaine's to try and make things a little more comfortable between them, even though Kurt was screaming inside.

Majority of the car ride was silent. It was partially Kurt's fault, not exactly trying to start an actual conversation, not exactly knowing what to say. What do you say after finding out the guy you're practically head over heels for was checking you out? Kurt would pay anything to know what Blaine was thinking.

"You look really nice." He spoke up almost on cue, turning to Kurt instead of looking out the window the way he was before.

Kurt paused in his thoughts, the compliment catching him off guard as he ducked his head. "Oh, thank you." he smiled, looking over his outfit once more. "You look really nice too."

"Thank you," Blaine smiled back. "But really, the pants look really good. I don't want to say I told you so, but..."

"Oh, shut up, you would love to say 'I told you so'." Kurt laughed, pushing Blaine softly on the shoulder.

"You're right, I told you so. You should let me style you more often." Blaine bantered back, a prideful smile on his face as Kurt rolled his eyes. "If I was being honest though, I'm confused how you're even sitting comfortably in them. They're basically clinging to your skin." He spoke, poking Kurt's thigh as if the fabric might tear under the pressure.

"Fashion is hardly ever comfortable." Kurt spoke as Blaine laughed, nodding in agreement. "These are definitely only coming out for emergencies from now on."

"Maybe you should wear them more often. I like fashion model, leather-wearing Kurt. He's hot."

Kurt's face scrunched up in embarrassment of the words that mocked his statement from earlier as he tried to stop himself from blushing harder than he already was, but it was a lost cause. His hands covered his face as Blaine chuckled.

"Why must you torture me like this?" Kurt huffed despite the smile spread across his face.

"That wasn't my intention." Blaine hummed, trying and succeeding in pulling Kurt's hands away, one still holding on to his, which didn't calm the redness on Kurt's face in any way. "I just wanted you to know that I think you're hot too, so maybe we can feel a little more comfortable saying it around each other without getting flustered."

"I don't know if that'll be possible." Kurt admitted honestly, his free hand playing with his tie in distraction.

"It's just me, Kurt." Blaine spoke in a softened tone, his hand squeezing Kurt's, making him look up into his eyes. He said that with so much assurance, as if the thought of it being 'just Blaine' would help in anyway, but Kurt let the words settle him despite. He took a calming breath, forcing himself to stop from being nervous before nodding with a smile.

"Yeah, it is. It's just you."

Blaine smiled back at Kurt, scooting slightly closer, his fingers sliding between Kurt's easily. "Now that that's resolved, you ready to turn the heads in that party, hot stuff?"

Kurt laughed at the name, the compliment still making him flush, but he leaned into it now than away, nodding. He could get used to it; the names and compliments and hand holding. It all felt like the build up that Kurt had been waiting for, and he couldn't help the excitement of the day where the flattery became a norm in their lives, something that didn't come as a shock for either one of them.

It was something Kurt could become comfortable with. He was just Blaine, and Kurt was just Kurt. They were just Blaine and Kurt. Kurt and Blaine. Openly hand holding and comfortably flirting. They were just them, together. And that was perfect.

"Lead the way, good looking."


	4. Give In To My Pretendings [4]

It wasn’t so much the throbbing pain in Kurt’s head that awoke him. The pain he could deal with for at least another hour or so in his half awake - half asleep state; at least until it had gotten too bad for him to lie through. It was instead the beaming rays of sun shining through the window directly onto his face.

Squeezing his eyes shut - which didn’t ease the banging in his head, Kurt let out a soft groan, trying his best to fall back into the peaceful sleep he was just in. It wasn’t until he adjusted slightly that he realized the warm body he was holding on to; the chest his head was resting on breathing calmly under him.

Kurt breathed deeply, inhaling the fading scent of Blaine’s cologne, and smiled. “Perfect,” he sighed under his breath, moving up to nuzzle his face into the space between Blaine’s neck and collarbone, blocking out the sun.

“Thank you...?” Came a deep, raspy response; Kurt’s eyes opening widely in surprise.

“You’re awake?” He squeaked, lifting up and instantly regretting it. His hands covered his face at the sudden banging he received from his sporadic movement. He let out a louder groan than before, lying back on Blaine’s chest to try and seize the pain, his head slightly bouncing from Blaine’s chuckles. “How long have you been awake?”

“A little while. I didn’t want to wake you.” he mumbled quietly for Kurt’s sake, rubbing his hand gently on Kurt’s back. “Figured you’d have a hangover.”

“You were right.” Kurt huffed, closing his eyes back and relaxing under Blaine’s touch. “What happened?”

“Well...” Blaine started, a hint of amusement in his voice as he paused as if deciding where to start. “You seemed to have gotten a little eager with the drinking.” Blaine laughed softly. Kurt let out another groan, hiding his face back in Blaine’s chest before Blaine reassured him. “Don’t worry, I made sure you didn’t do anything embarrassing. It was fun - we laughed and danced off most of the booze.”

Kurt listened to Blaine’s recap, bits and pieces of his memory falling back into his mind. It hadn’t been long before Blaine had been able to tempt Kurt to take a sip out of his red solo cup. Then one sip had turned into sharing three or four, all the while Blaine had pulled Kurt up to dance with him whenever he could. He could remember the way Blaine’s movements had started off wild and energetic in the beginning of the night, as they always had been when he drank.

But then, by the time they had poured their third drink, the mood had changed. Blaine had slowed, swaying closer to Kurt. They had shared soft, tipsy laughs between each other, Blaine’s hands low on Kurt’s hips as they danced to just one more song, because this was Blaine’s favorite song, despite saying the exact same for the last nine.

“That was fun,” Kurt hummed, a soft smile on his face. His eyebrows scrunched together, trying to pull together some reason he would decide to drink more, not needing any extra catalyst to help him have a good time. “What happened after that?”

Blaine cleared his throat softly, his arm wrapping a bit tighter around Kurt. “We played some small games, sung some songs... and then Jeremiah came by.”

Just as the name was spoke, Kurt's headache grew bigger as if it was a natural reflex. He remembered suddenly why he allowed himself to indulge in the drinks and the music and everything else going on around him. It was only a second of Kurt stumbling off to get him and Blaine some water to sober them up before he came back to Blaine arguing on the phone in a quiet corner of the house.

Then instead of it being Kurt and Blaine together, is was Blaine and Jeremiah on the phone. Then Blaine and Jeremiah outside the party. Then Blaine and Jeremiah talking in hushed tones, inside. Then Jeremiah leading Blaine upstairs and Kurt trying to pretend that he didn't see or care or mind.

The memories that came flooding back were unbearable. It was too much too quick, and even if Kurt was able to fake it last night, he couldn't help but find the entire situation sickening now. Literally.

"Oh, god," Kurt spoke suddenly, rolling out of his bed and dropping down next to his trash can. His throat burned as the contents from the previous night flew out into the bin harshly, leaving him feeling half dead on the floor.

"I'll get you some water." Blaine told as he hopped out of bed, and Kurt simply nodded, spitting into the bin and catching his breath. He closed his eyes as he sat up and leaned his back against his bed. Before he knew it, Blaine was sitting next to him with a cup of cold water and some painkillers in his hand.

"Thank you," Kurt whispered, placing the pills on to his tongue before chugging down the water. The glass was empty in seconds, a sudden reminder as to how dehydrated Kurt was.

"Don't worry about it. You should lie back down." Blaine informed, standing and offering a hand to Kurt. Kurt let out a deep sigh before taking it and allowing Blaine to help him back into bed, pulling the covers over his head. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Kurt let out a grunt in response, listening to Blaine gently open and close the door before trying his best to relax again. He hadn't heard Blaine walk back in or out, but Kurt knew that he had by the second glass of water lying on his nightstand when suddenly woke up from a nap he hadn’t meant to take.

He sat up slowly, rubbing a hand through his hair and allowing his eyes to adjust to the sunlight in his room. His hangover was mostly gone, thankfully. The only thing he was aware of was how parched he was and the hollowness in his stomach. Kurt reached for the cup and swallowed half of it down before Blaine walked in, a shocked smile appearing when he saw Kurt.

"Hey, I was just about to come wake you." he said in a soft tone, closing the door behind him. "Feeling better?"

“Much.” Kurt hummed, pulling the covers off of him and sliding to the edge of the bed, allowing his feet to dangle off the side. “You seem pretty happy yourself.”

“I am.” Blaine assured. “Food’s almost ready; it should be done any second. I came up here to tell you.” He spoke, pointing absently to the door.

“Good, that’s exactly what I need right now. And a big cup of coffee.” Kurt mumbled, taking another drink from his glass before standing and stretching out his bones. He let out a few small, relieved groans at the tiny cracking sounds in his spine as he stretched, before giving a curious look to Blaine who was watching - well, staring, actually - and smiling. “What? Is there drool all over my face, or something?”

“No, nothing.” Blaine responded shrugging and moving out of Kurt’s way when he started his way to his vanity to look in the mirror.

When Kurt confirmed that there was, indeed, nothing on his face, he sat in front of the mirror and began his morning routine that he really should’ve started hours ago. He sighed over the small bits on his face that were becoming blotchy and red from last night’s indulgences, and he quickly pushed open a cap of moisturizer to rub into his skin.

As he did, he couldn’t help continue to glance up at Blaine in the mirror, who was still staring at him - more in thought than concentration, though. After a while, Kurt turned in his chair, facing Blaine. “Are you okay?" he asked with a slight laugh, snapping Blaine out of his thoughts.

"Huh?" Blaine hummed, making eye contact with Kurt, which only furthered his laughing.

"What are you thinking so deeply about over there?" Kurt smiled, closing one product and opening another as he spoke as Blaine laughed also, shaking his head.

"Just... stuff." Blaine answered softly with a shrug.

"Such as..." Kurt pushed, his words muffled as he rubbed his hands over his face.

"Persistent, are we?" Blaine teased, walking a bit closer to where Kurt was seated, pulling up a chair next to his.

Kurt shrugged in return, looking at Blaine through the mirror. "I'd call it healthy curiosity," he spoke with a slight smile on his face that made Blaine smile in return.

There was a pause as Blaine simply watched Kurt continue his routine, his eyes following Kurt's fingers with thoughtless concentration as they were before. He sighed softly before speaking, his words in a hushed tone, "Do you know how gorgeous you are?"

At that moment, Kurt could've sworn his entire body had paused to process the words that Blaine had just said to him. His hands had stopped working on his face, his eyes- now widened by the sudden question had refused to blink, and his brain had essentially short circuited right then and there. When his body had finally decided to reboot, Kurt simply blushed harshly, turning to Blaine who was just sitting there, chin propped up on his fist and a soft smile on his face. "I... is that a rhetorical question?"

Blaine let out a laugh at his response, a larger smile emerging, which did nothing to bring down Kurt from the slight high he was feeling from Blaine's compliment. Honestly, Kurt hadn't even done his hair yet, having Blaine not only compliment but stare openly at Kurt was not something he was prepared for as soon as he awoke.

As if on cue, Blaine lifted a hand that he wasn't resting on and ran it gently through Kurt's hair, his smile never dying down. "You should leave your hair like this today."

"Why?" Kurt laughed, his eyebrows furrowing slightly in confusion.

"Because you look nice with messy bed hair."

"Okay, now you're just flirting with me." Kurt spoke, raising a questioning brow which only furthered Blaine's chuckles. There was a small beat of silence as Blaine continued to comb his fingers through Kurt's hair, messing it up before lightly fixing it and then repeating. Kurt smiled at the action, suspicious of Blaine's seemingly sedated happiness, but not wanting to be the one to question and possibly ruin it. "I'll tell you what," he said after a while, finishing his routine and turning fully towards Blaine. "I'll leave my hair like this if you lose the gel."

Blaine paused his movements in Kurt's hair, silently challenging him before sighing out a "Touche," and letting his hand fall onto the desk of the vanity. "You know what I've been thinking about?"

"Besides my overwhelming beauty?" Kurt teased.

"Besides that," Blaine laughed, sitting up straighter. "We should start going out more. Last night was a bit chaotic, but we just lost ourselves, and I feel like we don’t get to do that enough together. I had a lot of fun with you."

Despite the sincerity of Blaine's proposal, the thoughts of the previous night had flashed through Kurt's mind, including the one's Kurt didn't want to think about and suddenly it was clear why Blaine was so happy all of a sudden. Kurt's smile faltered slightly as he cleared his throat, trying to refuse his mind from thinking about what had happened when Blaine and Jeremiah had disappeared upstairs, but he couldn't stop it. "Seems like you had a lot of fun without me too."

The moment the sentence left Kurt's lips, he regretted it, watching as Blaine tried to figure out what he was talking about. "What do you mean?" Blaine asked as Kurt shook his head, looking down.

"Nothing, forget it."

"No," Blaine spoke gently, resting a hand on Kurt's as he encouraged him to explain. "Tell me. Did I do something?"

Kurt sighed, opening his mouth to speak but closing it, trying to find the words to ask without seeming intrusive or... well, jealous. Which he wasn’t, of course. The idea just got under his skin for some reason.

"No, you didn't do anything.” Kurt began, shaking his head at his own stupid thoughts. “It's none of my business, I just... I remember you were hanging out with Jeremiah last night, and you guys snuck off. And now, you're all happy and... I guess I just figured..."

"That we... had sex?" Blaine finished when Kurt trailed off, Kurt's face scrunching up instinctively at the image.

"I was going to say 'made up'," Kurt answered. "It's not important, I'm sorry I even brought it up-"

"No, it's fine. Healthy curiosity." Blaine assured with a slight smile, his hand rubbing over Kurt's. "We didn't have sex, by the way. Despite how much he  _ wanted  _ us to." Kurt was silent as he watched Blaine stare at their hands, once again trying to figure out the right words to say, but not because of jealousy or anger this time. "Go ahead and say it." Blaine laughed with a roll of his eyes.

"Say what?"

"What you're thinking. The whole 'Jeremiah's a jerk' speech that I know you have a saved up. You wouldn't be wrong."

Kurt turned his hand over in Blaine's and laced his fingers between his, waiting until Blaine looked up before speaking. "Yes, Jeremiah is a jerk, and yes, I honestly think he may just be the scum of the Earth, but that wasn't what I was thinking." Kurt paused, searching Blaine's eyes and squeezing his hand softly. "I'm worried about you, Blaine.

"I'm fine," Blaine told, shaking his head with a shrug. "We're fine, sort of. Jeremiah would never disrespect my boundaries or hurt me or anything. He was just... frustrated, I guess."

"That doesn't mean it's okay for him to pressure you. Honestly, Blaine-"

"I know that, Kurt," Blaine responded, putting a reassuring hand on Kurt's shoulder to stop the rant he knew he was about to receive. "That's why we're still on our break. I don't plan on speaking to him until I've fully forgiven him and trust him.”

Kurt nodded at Blaine, huffing gently in his seat. He wasn’t exactly satisfied with the situation, but honestly, he wouldn’t be satisfied unless Blaine had cut Jeremiah out completely right then and there. But he knew there was no chance of that happening. They loved each other after all.

“But thank you for worrying about me, it means a lot." Blaine smiled at Kurt. “No matter what Jeremiah wants, I’m taking things slow. I want my first time to be special. With someone who loves me.”

Oh.

So much for loving each other.

Kurt could feel his face falter a bit, but he did his best to play it off by ducking his head and clearing his throat. How could anyone not love Blaine back. Jeremiah didn’t even deserve this slightest amount of love Blaine was offering and he had the audacity to try and have sex before even saying ‘I love you’ back?

Despite the confusion, anger, and pure disgust Kurt had for Jeremiah, his soft spot for Blaine was bigger, and he found it in him to smile back at him and not press on his wounds. After all, he knew the feeling of caring more for someone than they did to him. It was better to let Blaine come to him when he was ready.

“Of course I’m going to worry about you. I’m here for you no matter what, okay?”

“Okay.” Blaine responded softly, before reaching over to give Kurt a hug which he gladly returned. It wasn’t until the muffled sound of Finn telling them that ‘breakfast was ready’ that they pulled away, a slight laugh coming from Kurt.

“Leave it to Finn to ruin a heart-warming moment.” he joked, standing, sliding on his slippers and walking to the door, Blaine following.

Blaine laughed in return, opening the door for Kurt as they both exited his bedroom and made their way downstairs. It wasn’t long before Blaine found his place in the hub of the Hudson-Hummel family, Kurt realized. Between the setting of the table and breakfast chat, Blaine blended right in as if he had grew up in the household all his life.

It was true that Blaine had spent quite a few mornings over Kurt’s and had gotten used to the simple logistics, but it never failed to surprise Kurt how quickly Blaine fit into his family like a puzzle piece, plopping in the reserved seat for him between Kurt and Burt easily. The family instinctively paused for him to say a quick prayer in respect, and Blaine instinctively worked around the natural order of who-gets-what-item-first when putting food on their plates. He knew when to chip in in the idle chit-chat, knew when to laugh at Burt’s corny jokes, knew to begin to clean off the empty plates on the table when people started to finish their food.

Of course Blaine could fit into any family if he wanted to - with his manners and charm. There was no question about that. But sometimes, on certain slow, relaxing days, where he and Kurt would be sitting an inch closer to each other, or when they’d be able to share a glance over something Finn had said, or when Blaine would steal a piece a bacon from Kurt on his way to the kitchen before pressing a kiss to his head with a giggly “thank you” because he knew Kurt wouldn’t be able to reject the affection, Kurt couldn’t help but think Blaine did more than fit, but instead, belong. He was comfortable being at the table, and the table was more than comfortable having him.

“See, if I stole bacon off your plate, you’d probably slap me against the head.” Finn grumbled teasingly, reaching for the bottle of maple syrup for his last pancake.

Kurt looked up at Finn, cut off from his thoughts as he finished the rest of his food absentmindedly. “That’s because Blaine’s our guest,” He spoke calmly, wiping his mouth with a napkin and beginning to stand. “And you know better.”

“And you’re in love with him.” Finn mumbled as he stuffed a piece of food into his mouth, muffled enough for just the two to hear, but still gaining a reaction from Kurt. Kurt punched Finn forcefully in the shoulder, gaining the attention of Burt and Carol when Finn let out a dramatic “Ow!” before moving to the kitchen to see Blaine doing the dishes.

As he washed, Kurt watched Blaine singing softly, eyes closed as he danced to the beat in his head, and Kurt couldn’t help but smile. It was almost amazing how Blaine could be adorable doing even the littlest things, and Kurt’s heart warmed as he watched Blaine in his element before he glanced behind him to see Kurt. Then his heart warmed even more as Blaine smiled brightly, never breaking his melody but instead, simply starting to sing to Kurt.

Okay, so maybe Finn was a little right.

* * *

 

“Blaine...? Blaine!”

“Yeah, I’m awake. I’m listening. What is it?”

Kurt let out an exasperated sigh as he pressed the palm of his hand to his forehead, a tired laugh leaving his mouth. They had been on the phone for barely a half hour, discussing future audition songs and college choices and campus visit dates and well... it was safe to say that Kurt had done more of the talking while Blaine pretended to listen.

Usually Kurt would be offended that Blaine was falling asleep in the middle of the conversation, but it was only if he had initiated the conversation. Blaine had insisted on talking about college tonight, despite having over multiple family members earlier that night, something that always drained him. Kurt offered to talk about the topic on a later date so Blaine could sleep, but when they both failed to think of a day the could due to their busy schedules, Kurt had no other choice but to agree and try to make it work.

It obviously wasn’t working.

“Blaine, just get some sleep. We can talk about this stuff later.” Kurt huffed softly.

“No, I want to talk to you. It’s important, and I know we aren’t going to see each other besides our coffee breaks, which is never enough time to fit in a full conversation-”

“We can talk in the morning. You’re tired, Blaine, you need to rest. Your eyes are probably closed right now.” There was another beat of silence and Kurt almost wondered if Blaine had nodded off again before he heard Blaine let out a dramatic sigh into the phone, making Kurt laugh in response.

“Fine. Just stay on the phone, I’m going to change.” he responded, his voice distant, letting Kurt know he was on speaker. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stay awake to hear about all your ideas.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it.” Kurt commanded as he cleared off his agenda and laptop from his bed before shuffling to lie under the covers. “You have the rest of your life to listen to my ideas, trust me.”

Blaine laughed softly, Kurt pressing the phone closer to his ear as he cut off his lamp. “You’re too good for me, you know that?”

Kurt blushed softly at the compliment before responding, “Yeah, actually I do.”

Another laugh came from Blaine, but closer to the phone than it was before as Blaine took Kurt off of speaker and held the phone to his ear also, turning off his light and sliding into bed. “Good.” he spoke softly, adjusting to become comfortable and then sighing softly once again. “Hey... have I told you how much you mean to me?”

Kurt could feel his cheeks blush harder as he rolled his eyes at Blaine’s sentiment, not being able to fight off the smile on his lips. “You tell me every day, you sap. Go to sleep.”

“I’m serious,” Blaine mumbled in his happy, sleepy tone, yawning out the rest of his words. “You keep me sane.”

“Funny, you do the exact opposite,”

A deeper, slightly louder laugh pushed through the receiver as Blaine rolled his eyes this time before closing them. “Shut up, you love me.”

Kurt smiled in the darkness of the room, his eyes closing as he just listened for a moment. He could hear Blaine’s breaths becoming softer, knowing he was on the verge of falling asleep once again, and Kurt’s imaginations ran free with the thoughts of this being them. Long nights away from each other not because of rehearsals and school work and things that mean everything now, but won’t mean a thing later. Because they may be however far away from each other in a year, and won’t have the time to talk but would anyway, missing so much that they’d rather listen to each other fall asleep than to not call at all.

Kurt’s first call in the morning and last call in the night would be only reserved for Blaine, and vice versa. Despite knowing that those ideas didn’t hold as much depth as Kurt wanted them to, he allowed himself to think it. Allowed himself to give in to his constant pretendings even if it was only for a night because tonight, Blaine wanted the last voice in his ear to be Kurt’s.

When Kurt began to hear the soft snores of Blaine and was sure he was asleep, he relaxed more into his bed, his imaginations lulling him to sleep as he whispered - just for the sake of knowing it was true, he whispered, “Yeah... I do.”

* * *

 

The next time Kurt had actually saw Blaine didn’t take as long as Blaine had feared it would. To be fair, it was only supposed to be an hour long study date at the Lima Bean - nothing more, nothing less. But then Rachel and Mercedes ended up joining them, and one question turned into Rachel telling a story, which led into a debate, which let into another story, and so on. Before they knew it, they were ignoring their textbooks completely and simply gossiping over coffee and biscotti.

After, Blaine had invited Kurt over to try to actually get work done together, which, once again, didn’t work once Kurt had saw shopping bags in the trash and demanded Blaine to show him what he had bought. They didn’t know when they had done it, but some point in the night, they had silently agreed that procrastination had won and instead of fighting it, they simply put on a movie and enjoyed each other’s company.

It wasn’t until Blaine’s stomach grumbled that Kurt had actually reached for his school bag after hours, just to pull out a leftover blueberry muffin from the Lima Bean and offer it to Blaine.

“Thank you,” Blaine smiled at Kurt, taking the white paper bag from him as Kurt nodded, turning his attention back to the TV. Blaine pulled out the muffin and tore a piece from the top, eating it as he went to throw the bag in the trash before pausing. “Whose number is this?”

Kurt turned back to Blaine, looking at him then at the bag he was holding up that had a phone number written on it in black marker, a small smiley face following it. “The cashier.” Kurt shrugged before going to watch the movie again. “He bought me the muffin.”

“The cashier?” Blaine repeated in a louder, shocked tone, pausing the movie and playfully pushing Kurt’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me? The cashier was cute!”

“I wasn’t interested.” Kurt admitted calmly, only causing Blaine to be overly enthusiastic in Kurt’s place.

“Why not?” Blaine asked. “The cashier was  _ cute _ !”

Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine’s repetition, as if reminding him of how “cute” the cashier was was going to change his mind. “He wasn’t my type. Sure he was cute, but I just wasn’t interested in him.”

Blaine paused, staring at Kurt with a confused look on his face before shaking his head and laughing softly. “If you say so, Kurt.”

“And I do.”

“You know, I’m just looking out for you.” Blaine spoke, taking another bit of his muffin and plopping it into his mouth. “I only want the best for you.”

“Having a boyfriend is not what’s best for me. I don’t need a boyfriend to validate my worth.”

“I know that, trust me, I do.” Blaine defended. “But there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship. Sometimes, you do seem a little lonely.”

Kurt scoffed, rolling his eyes at Blaine. Who was he to call Kurt lonely? Sure, he occasionally thinks about what it’d be like to have someone to do cute, relationship things with, but he didn’t depend on it. Plus, he didn’t want to rush into a relationship just for the sake of it. He wanted it to be with a guy he actually wanted to be with. Honestly, it’s Blaine fault for setting his standards so high anyway. Why would he settle when he knew there were gay guys like Blaine out there?

“I’m  _ fine _ .”

“Really? Is that why you’re not going to prom?”

Kurt paused in his defenses, silently cursing Rachel for telling Blaine.

“Don’t be mad at Rachel for telling me. She’s just worried about you too.” Blaine spoke as if reading Kurt’s mind, turning his body to face Kurt as he criss-crossed his legs and looked Kurt in the eye. “But I find it peculiar that I had to hear it from Rachel and not you.”

Kurt sighed, looking away from Blaine and refusing to give into the puppy eyes he was sure Blaine was showing. “I just didn’t want you to make a big deal out of it.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have if you would’ve asked me not to.” Blaine responded. “But I know for a fact that prom means something to you, and you can’t hate me for asking why you’re not going.”

“I’m just going to look pathetic going alone.” Kurt admitted, throwing his hands up in frustration as he stood. His hands rubbed over his face and stopped on his forehead as he let out a distressed sigh, closing his eyes for a moment. “It would just give those idiots there even more reason to think I’m not... normal.”

“Kurt...” Blaine called, his voice soft as he stood too, walking towards Kurt and grabbing his hands. 

There was a long silence as they just stood there, Kurt knowing that Blaine wanted Kurt to look up at him but he couldn’t. He simply stared at their hands together, his brows furrowed in frustration and discomfort.

Kurt had originally loved the idea of prom. He loved the structure and romantics behind prom-posals, and finding the right outfit and having everything be perfect, but as the date came closer and closer, Kurt felt this constant weight of not having any of those things. The pressure of perfection constantly stopped him every time he thought of buying a ticket, especially when he didn’t even have anyone to go with. One part of him hated himself for getting so caught up in something that was supposed to be fun, but the other part of him just couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t do it.

“Kurt, you’re not normal.” Blaine spoke suddenly, the words catching Kurt’s attention and making him look up in confusion. “You’re unique.” Blaine assured. “You’re creative, and talented, and strong, and gorgeous, and you have every right to go to prom as much as the other students who think there’s a such thing as ‘normal.”

Kurt listened as Blaine spoke, stressing every adjective with so much sincerity that Kurt could feel the anxiety over the night that was yet to happen slowly untangle in his body. He wanted to say something, a ‘thank you for being amazing’, but he knew if he had opened his mouth, his voice would come out raspy and cracked, so instead he simply wrapped his arms around Blaine and hugged him, burying himself in Blaine’s safety and support until he felt like he could breathe again.

There was another long moment of silence as Blaine held Kurt, before he spoke, “Maybe... I could take you. So you won’t feel alone.”

Kurt shook his head on Blaine’s shoulder, hugging Blaine tighter. “You don’t have to do that, Blaine.” he said softly. Blaine hadn’t even put in any thought to going to his own prom, the idea of a school dance being an instant trigger for him. Kurt wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he forced Blaine to go.

“I want to.” Blaine spoke up. Kurt pulled away slightly, searching Blaine’s eyes for any hint of uncertainty, but he received none. “As long as you go and enjoy yourself, I want to be there for you.”

“Are you sure...?” Kurt asked. Blaine nodded, a smile growing on his face,

“And I want a cheesy invitation to. Like balloons and flowers that spell out ‘prom’ and everything.” Blaine demanded.

Kurt laughed before resting his head back on Blaine’s shoulder, nodding. His nose inhaled the faint scent of Blaine’s cologne and he closed his eyes once more. “It’s a date.”


	5. Say My Name Like There Could Be An Us [5]

Kurt was floating. He wasn’t sure how. He didn’t even understand how it was possible, and yet, he was floating on air. His body was buzzing from excitement and adrenaline and the simple, goofy happiness from a long night out. It was a high he had never reached before and he’d be damned if he would let it end by sleeping.

So, he didn’t. Instead, he texted his dad that he’d be staying with Blaine for the night and screamed out of the rooftop of the cheesy limo he and his friends had rented together as they drove through the city  _ way  _ past curfew. He went to prom, and he conquered it.

Yes, he did have some down moments. The glances throughout the night, the whispers from people across the dancefloor, and of course, the announcement of his title as ‘Prom Queen.’

It was hard. To be made to look like a fool in front of a sea of people who were mostly already against you in the first place. The silence when his name was spoken was deafening. The drop he felt inside his chest took the breath out of his lungs, and before he knew it, he was breaking into a sprint out of the room where everybody’s eyes were watching him.

But Blaine was right behind him, stopping Kurt from running away, talking him down, but also listening. Mostly listening. There was a lot of sitting and standing and pacing and ranting before Kurt could finally figure out what he wanted to do. What he needed to do - for not only his but Blaine’s sake too. So, he went back in the crowd and accepted his crown. And with a simple phase - and a shit ton of courage - the crowd erupted in cheers and Kurt did nothing but dance the rest of that night away, starting with a dance from Blaine.

It was almost half past two when Blaine had finally dragged Kurt into his empty home and up to his room, both of them still giddy from the event. “I can finally check ‘screaming out a limo’ off of my bucket list.” Blaine had laughed when they had reached his bedroom, closing the door once Kurt had plopped on to the bed and walking towards his mirror.

“If I hadn’t done it too, I’d be slightly judging you for having it  _ on  _ your bucket list.” Kurt teased, in which Blaine rolled his eyes and waved the insult away. When he had moved away from his mirror, it was to hold out his hands in presentation to the prom pictures he had stuck up there, a prideful smile on his face. “I love those pictures. God, it was so much fun playing couple with you.” Kurt laughed.

“Very true, Kurt Hummel,” Blaine smiled, walking over to Kurt and holding out his hand. “But the night is not over yet.”

“I’m pretty sure the night was over two hours ago.” Kurt joked once again, but took Blaine’s hand anyway, allowing him to lead them to the center of his bedroom floor, one hand going to Blaine’s shoulder as Blaine’s wrapped around Kurt’s waist, pulling him closer.

“Just because you have a crown now doesn’t mean you have to be so rude.” Blaine snarked back. Kurt opened his mouth to object but was quickly cut off by Blaine shushing him, moving in even closer so his head could rest on Kurt’s shoulder as he began to sing out a slow melody for them to dance to.

“ _ Fly me to the moon... and let me play amongst the stars. Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter... and Mars.” _

Kurt remained silent just as Blaine had wanted, closing his eyes as he listened to Blaine sing to him, swaying in his arms. The hand that was holding to Kurt’s released and instead, lied flat against the small of Kurt’s back. And just like that, Kurt was floating again.

He was swaying with Blaine over the floorboards in an aura that made him feel like time had stopped for a while just to keep this moment infinite. Just for a while - for the two of them.

Blaine continued to serenade Kurt, occasionally pulling back to meet Kurt’s gaze and Kurt opening his eyes to meet Blaine’s, the words he sung becoming softer over the lyrics that mentioned ‘ _ adore _ ’ and ‘ _ kiss _ ’ and ‘ _ I love you _ .’ When the song had finished, they continued to dance slowly, simply enjoying the warmth of each other as Blaine let out a slight sudden laugh, sighing softly.

“What?” Kurt asked, laughing at Blaine’s outburst.

“I’ve always wanted to meet royalty. Now I’m dancing with royalty.” Blaine spoke, his lips forming into a sweet smile as the continued to dance. “His majesty: my Kurt.” he added for emphasis, another soft laugh coming out.

“ _ Your  _ Kurt?”

Blaine paused as he thought about the words he had said before blushing and ducking his head. “You know what I mean...” he mumbled.

“No, I don’t.” Kurt teased further, earning a darker blush from Blaine and a slight nervous laugh.

“Kurt...” he stumbled, his eyes meeting Kurt’s when he looked back up, but not fully to the playfulness he was receiving before.

“Blaine.”

_ Just tell him. Just tell him. Just tell him. _

The thoughts were repeating so quickly in Kurt’s mind that they were basically overlapping. His heart was beating hard with nerves and adrenaline and excitement from what would happen if he did. From the way Blaine was staring into his eyes; how Blaine was pressing close to him that Kurt could feel Blaine’s soft breath on his cheek. He could feel Blaine’s pulse speed up as quick as his. He could see Blaine’s eyes drift down his face until they settled on Kurt’s lips. They stared - stared hard and long, different from the people staring at Kurt earlier that night. Oh, so very different. Suddenly Blaine was leaning in.

The ringing of Blaine’s cell phone broke the silence in the room, making Blaine jump back with a slight gasp and Kurt drop from the high he was in. “Jeremiah,” Blaine spoke in a rasp before clearing his throat once he pulled out his phone and read the ID. “I have to... I gotta, um-”

“Go.” Kurt spoke, forcing a smile and a dry laugh as he waved Blaine away. “I’m gonna change for bed.”

“...Okay.” Blaine responded. He hesitated in his place, his weight shifting to each foot as he watched Kurt, waiting for him to say something, but Kurt had nothing. There was nothing he could say. “I’ll just be outside.”

“Alright.” Kurt nodded.

Blaine nodded back before turning and answering his phone, a smile forced onto his face as he began to speak on his way out of the room. “Jeremiah! No, I was just thinking about you. Yeah, I miss you too-”

The moment Blaine had closed the door, Kurt’s composure broke. His posture slouched, his face crumbled, and suddenly, his heart broke. It shouldn’t have. What was he even thinking? Blaine was never his to begin with. He was with Jeremiah, and this... this entire night was just an illusion anyway. Just pretend.

...But Blaine leaned in. He gave soft words, and he sung sweetly in Kurt’s ear, and he claimed Kurt as  _ his Kurt _ . There was something between them, whether that was from the illusion or not, there was something there. Kurt wasn’t the only one who felt it. He couldn’t have been.

Kurt let out a shaky breath, rubbing a hand through his hair as he turned in the room that suddenly felt so unfamiliar to him. When he had finally found the pajamas he always kept over Blaine’s, he quickly stripped off his tux and put them on, subconsciously dragging his body to turn off the light and climb into his side of the bed.

The dizzying swirling sensation Kurt was feeling earlier had quickly dropped down to a numb, static feeling as he lied in bed alone, staring into the darkness. He couldn’t force his eyes close; the previous scene just replaying in his mind. He had so many questions when he closed his eyes. So many thoughts. It was all too much.

Blaine walked back into his room - ten, twenty minutes later; Kurt didn’t really know - and paused before he closed the door back. There was a bit of rustling, and Kurt could only assume that Blaine was changing in the dark, trying his best not to disturb Kurt in the case that he was already asleep. It didn’t take long before Blaine was climbing into bed next to Kurt, their backs to each other, close but never touching.

Then there was silence.

Every now and then, there would be the faint sound of a car passing, the on and off patter of a slight rain, Blaine’s soft breathes as a dusk, spring breeze blew through the window. Suddenly the hum of overlapping words returned to Kurt’s mind, louder and louder. He couldn’t continue the next morning, acting if nothing had ever happened. He couldn’t move on again, wondering what if’s. Wondering if Blaine felt the same way he did somewhere in him. Wondering if Blaine wanted to kiss Kurt as much as he so badly wanted to kiss him.

He couldn’t wait till morning, where things would be different. Where their hidden layers of courage and honesty and vulnerability around each other would disappear to only leave... “just friends.”

Kurt shifted on his side of the bed. Seconds later, Blaine shifted also. He was awake. Kurt sighed into the midnight air. He couldn’t sleep unless he said something.  _ Asked _ . Kurt squeezed his eyes closed and took another breath before counting down in his head.

_ Just tell him. Just tell him. Just tell him.... 3.... 2... _

“Blaine-?”

“Kurt-?”

They both turned in the bed to face each other, pausing in surprise when they spoke at the same time. It was Blaine who broke the silence with a sheepish laugh. “Sorry, you can go.” He spoke politely.

“No, you can go first.” Kurt responded quietly. Blaine rubbed a hand over his face before adjusting in the bed once again, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. In the darkness, Kurt was still able to make out Blaine’s lip being chewed between his top and bottom row of teeth, the crease above his nose in between his eyebrows, the contradiction of softness and concentration on his face. He was nervous.

Kurt slid closer to Blaine under the sheet, his hand reaching out to grab Blaine’s before he also lied on his back. “Tell me.” He encouraged, squeezing Blaine’s hand gently. Blaine’s head turned to face Kurt, a soft sigh coming out of his mouth before he smiled at him, blinking a few times.

“Thank you,” He spoke finally. “For allowing to face my fears. Fight my demons.”

The praise took Kurt aback for a moment. He shifted slowly, turning on his side until he was fully facing Blaine, speaking softly to the boy that was once again inches away from him. “That was all you. You don’t need to thank me for that.”

“You were still there for me. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you, and... I hadn’t realized how much I needed to.”

Kurt smiled softly, adjusting until he was able to lie his head on Blaine’s shoulder, Blaine shifting until he was in the position to pull Kurt closer and hold him. “I suppose I can thank you for the same thing.”

“It was my honor.” Blaine responded. It was quiet once again after that, but a content quiet now. There was still the hard thumping in Kurt’s chest to ask the question he had originally spoke up about in the first place, but it was quickly stilled when Kurt felt Blaine place a gentle kiss to the top of Kurt’s forehead.

In that moment, that was enough. Kurt knew that this topic would come up once again later in their relationship. Knew that he couldn’t continue pretending that he didn’t have feelings for Blaine, and that he’d have to admit to it for his sake of not holding on to a secret on anymore so he could move on. But for now, he was safe in Blaine’s arms after a long, beautiful night of calling Blaine’s his, and everything in that moment was an infinite perception of perfection.

They fell asleep seconds after closing their eyes; close and warm under the late spring breeze.

* * *

 

Sunday nights were strange to Kurt. They always felt short and boring, simply a countdown to when he’d have to get ready for school the next day. Today, though, was different.

Kurt couldn’t focus. It was 7 pm. By this time, Kurt would be finishing any last minute homework he had put off over the weekend and then picking out an outfit for Monday while he waited for dinner to finish. And he had fully intended to; books and paper sprawled out around him on his bed, but instead of actually looking at them, Kurt instead stared into the distance, the quiet sound of his teeth biting down on the little nail he had left on his thumb.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Blaine.

The night of his prom would not stop replaying in his head, every detail fading a bit every time he tried to remember it except for that dance in Blaine’s room, alone and safe in the universe.  _ That  _ he remembered every single millisecond of.

It was almost frustrating how much he continued to think about the situation. It would distract his mind every other minute, even when he tried not to think of it, yet there was Blaine’s eyes and hair and lips in his head, looking at him like he was the best thing in the world. “I’m going insane...” Kurt groaned to himself, smacking his hands on to his face and lying back onto the piles of papers, successfully wrinkling them.

He had to stop thinking about Blaine. His life didn’t revolve around him. He needed to focus on the things that were in front of him  _ now _ . That’s what was important.

Kurt stood from his undone work, obviously needing a break to clear his head before he could actually get anything done. As he left his room for the kitchen, a knock at the front door made him pause before Burt called that he’d get. Kurt nodded in response, digging into the fridge and pulling out a yogurt, holding it in front of him as he tried to decide if he wanted it or not.

Just as he put the cup back to grab another flavor, Burt called Kurt, the sound of the front door closing behind him. “Yeah?” Kurt responded, closing the refrigerator door with empty hands before following the sound of his father’s voice.

The sight of Blaine caught him off guard when he had finally reached the doorway. He was disheveled, eyes puffy from what seemed like crying, arms wrapped tight around himself - different from the Blaine Kurt couldn’t stop thinking of. “Hey...” Blaine spoke with a slight rasp in his voice, taking a step towards Kurt as he tried to smile but his eyes simply watered more. “I’m sorry I didn’t call first-”

“Don’t be.” Kurt spoke sternly, his face filled with concern. “What’s wrong?” He asked, looking between Blaine and Burt, imagining the worst and hoping it wasn’t any of the scenarios in his head.

“Can we talk upstairs?” Blaine asked quietly, looking down at his feet as he sniffed softly.

Kurt nodded, walking with Blaine up the stairs into his bedroom. When he closed the door, Blaine was silent, sitting on Kurt’s bed with his eyes staring down into the floor. Kurt slowly walked over to him, sitting beside him and waiting patiently for Blaine to speak, the silence doing nothing but building up Kurt’s worries as to what was hurting him.

“Jeremiah cheated on me.” Blaine spoke suddenly, voice quiet and broken. There was another silence as Kurt tried to take in the words, wanting to say something helpful or comforting but not finding anything.

“Blaine... I’m so sorry,”

“How could I have been so stupid.” Blaine spoke up again, more to himself than to Kurt as he brought his hands up to his face to wipe away the slow tears that were falling. Kurt almost couldn’t take it - seeing the pain on Blaine’s face, in his voice, in every word he spoke. He was heartbroken.

“You’re not stupid,” Kurt immediately protested, wrapping an arm around Blaine’s shoulders and pulling him closer to him for comfort. “Jeremiah’s the idiot, don’t beat yourself up for his mistakes.”

Blaine embraced the hug quickly, leaning into Kurt and wrapping his arms around him as he started to let out harder sobs, releasing everything that was built up inside of him. “I should’ve known better.” He spoke between the cries, a small trembling as he tried to breathe to calm himself enough to speak. “I should’ve known, but I didn’t. I ignored all the signs because I was so  _ in love _ ... He never loved me.”

The last admission broke in Blaine’s voice, doing nothing but forcing him to cry even more. Kurt wasn’t used to having Blaine this vulnerable. They had been sad with each other plenty of times, took turns in comforting, but pain like this wasn’t often seen between them; both too concerned in trying to be each other’s hero. To break down on Kurt’s shoulder like this, Jeremiah must’ve meant a lot more to Blaine than Kurt had realized - or tried to pretend he didn’t realize, at least.

Therefore, with every tear that landed on his shoulder, Kurt couldn’t help but feel guilty for the situation. He had overestimated how faithful Jeremiah would be. Underestimated Blaine’s love for him. He should’ve told Blaine in the beginning; it would’ve saved him from the pain he was feeling now. Blaine was never supposed to get hurt in the end. He didn’t deserve this.

It wasn’t until Blaine began to calm again that Kurt spoke up, knowing it was either now or never and Blaine deserved to know the truth. “Blaine, I need to tell you something.” He started as Blaine stood and reached for Kurt’s box of tissues, wiping his cheeks and nose before throwing them away and sitting back down. “I knew... about Jeremiah.”

Kurt braced himself for Blaine’s response - for him to get angry and scream or walk out or something, but he was met with silence once again. Blaine just stared at the floor once more, but the hurt and confusion was obvious on his face. The exact face Kurt was trying to avoid. Blaine closed his eyes, a hand coming over his mouth as he tried to process. “You knew.” He repeated in a whisper, slightly turning away from Kurt.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve said something earlier. He was flirting with someone else, and I wasn’t sure so I confronted him but I didn’t say anything to you. And I wanted to tell you so many times, but I was scared you wouldn’t believe me, or that you’d get hurt, especially after we had that fight, but I never intended for this to happen. I’m so sorry, Blaine-”

“Stop.” Blaine spoke over Kurt’s rant, cutting him mid-apology.

Defeat. After all the stages of pain Blaine was going through, the only emotion that was evident on his face now was defeat. Kurt wanted to wrap him in his arms again, hold him until he was able to smile, but he didn’t know if he could anymore. If Blaine would let him. “It’s not your fault.” Blaine spoke again, much to Kurt’s surprise. “You’re right. I probably wouldn’t have believed you. Because I didn’t want to. I wanted him to feel the same way I did.”

“Blaine, it’s not your fault either.” Kurt reminded. Blaine simply scoffed at himself and shook his head, reaching for another tissue and wiping under his eyes. “Look at me.” He commanded. When Blaine hesitated, Kurt took Blaine’s hands in his, forcing Blaine to face him and waited until he looked up to meet Kurt’s eyes.

“If I would’ve just gave him what he wanted-”

“Nothing would’ve changed.”

“Kurt-”

“Nothing, Blaine.”

“How do you know? All I did was stay mad and bitter with him. I didn’t even try to compromise, I was horrible boyfriend.”

“No you weren’t. Things would’ve been worse because Jeremiah will never be good enough to appreciate you. You were an amazing boyfriend, you put yourself out on the limb for him every day and you can’t blame yourself for the things he did. You deserve so much more than him because you’re...  _ perfect _ . You’re the most courageous, kindest, perfect person I’ve ever met and anyone would be lucky to even be in your life, let alone have the slightest bit of love from you. I just wish... I...”

Kurt choked. His words suddenly became trapped in his throat, wanting to coming out but not being able to. Not when Blaine was staring at him like that, hanging onto each one he was saying. Not when his eyes were watering with more than just the pain of being betrayed, and he was looking at Kurt with more than a ‘thanks for being my friend’ kind of look.

But why not? If not now, when?

“Kurt...” Blaine spoke, searching Kurt’s eyes, his own asking Kurt to continue-  _ pleading _ for Kurt to continue. Suddenly Kurt’s heart was racing. He had prepared this speech over and over in his mind, but none of those words seemed good enough now that this moment was actually happening. He opened his mouth to speak, taking a deep breath as he prepared to admit it.

Then, it happened. It happened so quickly that Kurt couldn’t even process it at first, but suddenly Blaine’s hands were cupping Kurt’s cheeks, pulling him close until finally their lips were together. Kurt inhaled sharply through his nose, the action knocking the air out of his lungs as his body stiffened in surprise, but then, just as suddenly, melted in Blaine’s hands.

Kurt kissed back hard, his hands gripping onto the material of Blaine’s shirt, drowning in a kiss that was long overdue. He felt numb yet overwhelmed at the same time. He finally understood the cliche behind fireworks that he saw in so many movies.  _ This _ was fireworks.

His lips followed Blaine’s movements until he was struggling onto his last breath of air. Even then, he waited until Blaine pulled away slightly, just enough for both of them to breathe before he was diving back in as if he couldn’t wait any longer. Blaine’s teeth pulled at Kurt’s bottom lip until he happily opened his mouth, deepening the kiss more. A soft accidental whine released from Kurt’s mouth once he felt Blaine’s tongue brush against his, which only provoked a low moan from Blaine that honestly shouldn’t have been as attractive as it was, but god, it  _ was _ . Blaine shifted in his seat, closer to Kurt, before pulling away slowly, Kurt’s lips slowly lingering after his.

Blaine’s mouth moved to Kurt’s jaw, kissing down until he was laying wet kisses on Kurt’s neck, causing Kurt’s breaths to become soft and shallow in the room.  The swirling sensation was back in Kurt’s head, in his chest, in every spot Blaine kissed or touched, heating up his entire body. “Is this okay?” Blaine spoke suddenly in a low rasp close to Kurt’s ear which had him shifting in his spot on the bed.

Kurt was nodding before he had even fully thought of an answer, his body reacting before his mind ever could. Blaine was pressing his mouth against Kurt’s once again, the complex movements of their lips together almost becoming too much for Kurt. He knew they needed to stop soon. They needed to break, and talk, and figure things out and fully admit to each other how they felt but it was so hard to pull away when Blaine was kissing him so passionately with his hands tangled in Kurt’s hair in a moment that seemed too good to be true. How was he supposed to pull away?

There was a quick knock at Kurt’s door before it was being pushed open, both of the boys jumping back from each other in shock as they tried to compose themselves. “Sorry, Blaine, I just need to know if you’re-” Burt’s voice started when he opened the door before cutting himself off when he saw the two, raising a suspicious eyebrow. “Staying...” He finished after a moment of looking between them.

Kurt could feel the redness on his face as he tried to calm his speeding heart, ducking his head as he gulped down air he hadn’t realized he was needing. Of course. Of course  _ this  _ would happen out of all things to happen during such a perfect moment. “I um... I was just leaving, actually.” Blaine mumbled embarrassed from being caught as he stood, ducking his head as well.

“Blaine, you don’t have to-”

“No, I think Blaine should get home. It’s been a long night.” Burt agreed, throwing a look at Kurt that forced him to hunch in defeat.

Kurt could only nod with a sigh. There was no way he could argue against Burt about this, even if Kurt’s intentions for having Blaine stay were pure. He didn’t want Blaine being alone going through the emotional rollercoaster he was having. His selfish thoughts of having Blaine stay just to continue kissing him all night was surprisingly the last thing on his list of intentions - though, it was a short list to be fair. “I’ll walk you out.”

Kurt stood from the bed and led Blaine down the stairs after he gave an awkward ‘goodnight’ to Burt. Burt had been kind enough to not follow them down and let them have a private goodbye, but Kurt knew he had a lecture waiting for him once Blaine was out the door.

“So...” Blaine spoke bashfully when he reached the front.

“So...” Kurt replied.

There was a silence that Kurt hadn’t expected. It was uncomfortable, Kurt waiting for Blaine to say or do something just to break it. Then Blaine leaned in, but it wasn’t a kiss. Instead it was a hug; strong and tight, that ended with Blaine’s hand rubbing Kurt’s back and then giving him a masculine pat on the shoulder. It was even worse than the silence.

“I’ll call you later.” Blaine spoke again when they pulled away. “I have a lot to think about.”

“Of course.” Kurt responded with an exaggerated smile. “Take all the time you need.”

“Thanks.” And just like that, Blaine was gone, leaving an awkward, anticlimactic moment behind him. Kurt watched as he walked down their pathway into his car and drove off as if he hadn’t just given Kurt the best, mind-blowing first kiss known to man minutes ago. As if the feeling of each other’s lips weren’t still warm and buzzing, lingering there on one another.

Minutes passed and Kurt was still standing in the doorway, frozen and staring at the spot where Blaine once was. It wasn’t until he heard the stomps of his father coming down the stairs that he finally pulled himself inside of the house and closed the door, rolling his eyes at the speech he was about to receive and was in no mood to hear.

“Listen, if you’re just going to lecture me about me and Blaine kissing on my bed, just know that nothing was going to happen between us. It just suddenly happened, we’re not like that and he just broke up with Jeremiah so I'm pretty sure  _ that  _ wasn't on his mind.” Kurt tried to quickly explain when he was met with Burt, arms crossed over his chest and a quizzical look on his face.

“Okay...” he spoke, nodding and accepting Kurt’s explanation. “Just as long as you’re being safe. And I don’t just mean sex wise. You know I’ve been rooting for you two ever since you told me you had feelings for the kid, but admitting your feelings while he’s vulnerable like that is dangerous. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Why would I get hurt?” Kurt scoffed. “Blaine cares for me as much as I care for him.”

“I’m sure he does. Just...  make sure this whole things isn’t happening for the wrong reasons.” Burt explained further. Kurt paused, realizing what he was trying to say - shocked and almost appalled by the suggestion of him being a rebound. But the more he thought about it, the harder it was to fight the idea, despite how much he didn’t want to believe it.

“Blaine would never do that to me.” Kurt spoke, shaking his head.

“He would never  _ intentionally  _ do that to you.  But sometimes when we’re emotional, we make quick decisions at the wrong time. Just be careful, kid.”

Kurt headed to bed after that, but he wasn’t able to get much sleep. He cleared off his mattress, turned off his light, but his eyes remained open, staring at the ceiling as his mind continued to shout at him. The feeling was repetitive: being stuck alone and having Blaine’s actions occupy his mind. They just needed to talk. Once they did, everything would be alright.

Everything would be fine.

* * *

 

The next days were simply another round of the waiting game. Blaine had said that he’d call and despite Kurt encouraging him to take time, he didn’t really mean four days of absolute silence. The entire ordeal had Kurt feeling anxious. If he thought he was struggling to focus before, he obviously didn’t know what was in store for him.

Like any person going through relationship (or lack thereof) problems, he talked about it with his friends. He couldn’t stop talking about it. He just couldn’t understand.

Their kiss wasn’t anything less than magical. He obviously didn’t know how Blaine felt about it, but it had to be good.  _ He  _ kissed Kurt after all. Kissed him like he never wanted to stop kissing him. Kissed his neck and his jawline and stopped to make sure they were both comfortable before he kissed him again like there was no tomorrow. People don’t just kiss  _ anyone  _ like that.

It was in the middle of rehearsal that Blaine had finally messaged Kurt. It wasn’t a call, but it was  _ something _ \- an apology for not speaking and a proposal to make it up through coffee with the conclusion of “I really want to talk about us.”

The thought of an ‘us’ had Kurt’s heart skipping a beat when it really shouldn’t have. He shouldn’t be looking into anything yet, but...  _ us _ . Kurt loved the sound of it. The future it could imply. He had no choice but to happily accept.

Kurt was the first one at the Lima Bean, sitting and waiting for Blaine to arrive. He had ordered both coffees already as he usually did when he came first, but as time passed, he worried if he should’ve waited this time, beginning to see less steam appearing from Blaine’s cup on the opposite side of the table.

Blaine was late. Not abnormally late, but late nonetheless. Kurt had practiced what he was going to say in his head a thousand times, had picked up and put down his phone even more, and when he had caught himself counting the random things in the shop, he started to wonder if Blaine was going to show up at all.

The clocked ticked by another five minutes. Then another ten. Kurt swore he could feel something in him break with every extra minute, but he ignored it, holding on to any bit of hope he could muster. Blaine was coming. He wouldn’t leave Kurt here like this. He just wouldn’t.

He checked his phone again but there was still nothing from Blaine. Suddenly, Kurt’s giddy nervousness from what he and Blaine would discuss turned into an anxiety. He had been scared before from just receiving an answer to if Blaine wanted the same things Kurt did, but the thought of this being the answer in itself was just devastating.

Kurt blinked a few times as he looked up at the ceiling and let out a small sigh. Another group of ticking from the clock that showed that Kurt had been waiting for Blaine for exactly an hour. And still nothing.

There it was: the pain and disappointment that Kurt was trying so hard to pretend wasn’t there. That there was no way Blaine could hurt him again. Not after everything. Out of all the people to hurt him, just not  _ him _ .

Kurt stood quickly, forcing himself to not cry as he collected his things. Just as he stood, the jingle of the door opening rung and he quickly turned his head, hoping it was Blaine coming through, ready to apologize and admit that he cared for Kurt just as much as Kurt cared for him. But it wasn’t him.

The tears fell the moment Kurt was in his car. He must’ve looked like an idiot in that shop alone, sitting and waiting for something that could never come. Blaine could never feel the same way he did. No matter how much Kurt could love Blaine, Blaine would never love him back in that way.

Kurt was heartbroken.


	6. I'm The Only One In Love

**I’m The Only One In Love [6]**

There was a light, rhythmic ticking of Kurt’s alarm clock that broke the silence of his room. Kurt stared at it as it struck its third hour, breathing lightly as he watched it continue to tick. It was crazy the way it worked. The way Kurt was lying still and numb on his bed, barely twitching while the world continue to move.

Kurt’s body was filled with an ache that wouldn’t disappear. The numbness was the type that needed to be released or else it’d get stuck - weighing heavier on Kurt’s lungs with each passing minute. Yet, Kurt couldn’t cry anymore. He hadn’t known how long he had cried behind the wheel of his car, but when he had composed himself to finally drive out of the parking lot, he went home, lied in bed and sleep through the rest of the night until he finally awoke at 12 am and wasn’t able to fall back asleep.

Kurt blinked away his fatigue, turning gently in bed and pulling the sheets over his head. He didn’t know how he had managed to become heartbroken over a boy that was never his, but alas.

It hurt in an unconventional way. Not because it was just a crush that Kurt couldn’t have, but because it was Blaine. Blaine who knew all of Kurt’s secrets and insecurities and desires. There was no way to claim that he didn’t; there had been many nights where Kurt would turn to him when he felt panic or loneliness and would have to talk it out with the boy.

And after finally discovering and fully knowing every single mental detail in Kurt’s disaster of a mind, he... ran.

Kurt gripped onto the pillow that was beside of him and pushed it against his mouth before letting out a muffled wail. His voice broke off near the end into a sloppy sob as he tried to release the pain that was clutching on his body, yet the tears that was watering in his eyes barely slipped out. He felt betrayed. Like he had given so much to a dream just to have it all ripped away from him. How could he be so _stupid_?

Kurt lied with the pillow on his face until his breathing evened out. When he pulled it down, it was only to hold it tightly in his arms - somehow supporting himself with it. Before Kurt knew it, the sun was rising between the cracks of his curtains. He stood before he was due to, turning off his alarm he had set before making his way to the bathroom. His hands shook before he placed them on each side of the sink, steadying himself before he looked at himself in the mirror.

There was silence as he just stared. With a deep breath he spoke, a little quick but enough for himself to hear, and that was all that mattered. “We’re okay.”

It was true. Yes, he was hurting. He was angry and confused, but he was okay. He’d learn how to get through this just like so many things he had gotten through before. One heartbreak wouldn’t stop him.

Kurt continued to repeat the thought in his head as he readied himself - opening the curtains to let the sunlight in, beginning the brew to his coffee so it’d be ready by the time he was, allowing the aroma fill the house. There were moments in the process where his mind would race back to the overwhelming images and destructive thoughts, but instead of letting it stop him, Kurt simply turned on his music to distract himself, focusing on lyrics rather than the ache. Like this, he’d get through the day, and the week, and eventually the month. Like this, he’d get over Blaine.

Despite waking earlier, Kurt still decided to stay home a little later to eat breakfast and finish homework he had forgotten. He had more time now that he could drive straight to school instead of needing to stop for coffee. It’s better this way anyway, just in case. He didn’t want to run into Blaine. He wasn’t ready for that.

Kurt finished his bagel as he checked his watch, standing and cleaning off the sesame seeds from the table he was eating at. He was tired, but he was okay. Everything was okay.

After pouring himself another cup of coffee in his travel mug and grabbing a banana, he quickly made his way towards the door, pulling the strap of his bag over his head and opening his front door. Then, everything froze.

Kurt inhaled sharply when he saw on the opposite side of his threshold stood Blaine, raising a hand to knock at the door with the same shocked look on Kurt’s face. The air was still around them. Kurt could feel his heart thumping in his chest, each passing moment making it harder for Kurt to breath until finally the clank of Kurt’s mug falling to the floor snapped them both out of their eyelock.

Blaine looked between Kurt and the mug before bending down to pick it up, wincing when steaming coffee spilt on the back of his hand. He held it out for Kurt awkwardly, unsure if the gesture would somehow offend Kurt or not, but Kurt simply stared at Blaine, his eyes glazed over with tears, though, not of hurt, but instead rage.

“What are you doing here?” he asked between gritted teeth, not breaking eye contact.

Blaine paused before stuttering, looking away from Kurt. He could tell Blaine was nervous, seeing the heat rise on his cheeks as he tried to think of something to say, but Kurt didn’t care. Blaine had no right to just show up here after what he done. When Blaine finally answered, it was in a cowardly whisper as he took a small step back, yet bravely brought his eyes up to Kurt’s gaze. “I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“You didn’t think I’d be _here_ , in my own house?”

“Well, you usually leave earlier, I just thought... I don’t know-”

“Leave.” Kurt commanded, his hand gripping the side of the door as he prepared to close it, but Blaine was quick to stop him from doing so.

“No, please wait.” he spoke, quickly regaining the strength to speak louder. “I know, I fucked up, okay? I wasn’t planning on seeing you because I figured you’d need time, but I wanted you to know what happened.” Blaine defended himself, flashing an envelope that Kurt could only assume contained an explanation. “I was going to ask Finn to give it to you.”

Kurt stood, simply staring at Blaine. It was silent between them, the tension high despite the joyous chirping of the birds in the background and the sun shining brightly. Blaine cleared his throat as he realized his written out apology meant nothing now that he was standing here in front of Kurt, and he prepared himself, adjusting his weight onto one foot and then the other.

“Can I... come in?” he asked, looking around and subconsciously crossing his arms in front of him to calm his nerves.

“No.”

“...Okay. I understand why you’re upset-”

“Do you?” Kurt questioned a little too harshly, a little too quickly. He could hear the rise in his voice which ultimately resulted in the rise in his chest as he tried to fight off the stinging that was bubbling up inside of him. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Couldn’t believe he had to go through this.

Kurt bit his lip roughly and turned his head away from Blaine as he tried to hold back tears that were trying to come, squeezing his eyes shut but to no avail. He raised his hand to his mouth to quiet the trembling sigh that was released when his tears finally fell, hating himself for not being able to hold it together. This wasn’t _fair_.

“Kurt...” Blaine spoke gently, He could hear Blaine take a step forward, and Kurt instantly did the opposite, holding out his hand to stop Blaine from trying to comfort him.

“Don’t... don’t do that. You weren’t there.” Kurt reminded, wiping away the tears from his face.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry...” Kurt scoffed with a roll of his eyes as Blaine stood a bit taller, keeping eye contact with Kurt.

“Yes. You have no idea how sorry I am for treating you the way I did. You never deserved that. I just... I was there. I came to talk to you, but I didn’t walk in. I saw your face and I just... _couldn’t_. I was so scared because I never want to hurt you, but it’s so hard not to. I keep making dumb decisions and you stick by me even when I make you cry, and I was terrified of hurting you again. But I just made everything worse. I know it’s not an excuse but it’s true. And I don’t expect you to forgive me, but please believe that I am so sorry, Kurt. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

There was another silence as Kurt tried to process everything Blaine was telling him and to also recollect himself. It was hard to listen to Blaine. It was harder to look at him and not scream, but Kurt knew that doing that wouldn’t help either one of them. So he did what he knew he should: searched for answers he needed to hear despite how much he knew it would hurt him even more.

“You kissed me.” he stated suddenly. Blaine’s nervous demeanor returned once again, but he continued to keep Kurt’s gaze, swallowing hard.

“I know.”

“...And?” Kurt pressed on.

Despite how hard Blaine tried to remain composed, a sense of pain washed over his face. “What do you want me to say, Kurt?” he spoke in a hushed tone again, a tone of defeat hidden beneath it.

“The truth.” Kurt answered. Blaine hesitated, opening and closing his mouth as he tried to find the words but they just wouldn’t come. Kurt wiped his hands over his face, brushing away more tears as he let out a low groan before closing his eyes. “Please... just say it.”

When Kurt reopened his eyes, Blaine’s eyes were just as red as Kurt could assume his were. Blaine blinked a few times in order to stop himself, but his tears decided to fall either way. “It was a mistake.” Blaine forced out. “I knew how much it meant to you. I knew how you felt about your first kiss, and I stole it from you anyway. I was selfish, and I’m sorry. But you’re my best friend, Kurt. I can’t... we can’t-”

“Stop.” Kurt interrupted. Blaine watched as Kurt’s brows furrowed and he lowered his head. Kurt knew there was so much more Blaine wanted to say, but he couldn’t listen to apologies anymore. He couldn’t listen to Blaine’s guilt and regret. It was obvious in his face. It was just too hard.

Blaine brought a hand up to his eyes, brushing under them before nodding and biting on his lip. The sound of Kurt’s coffee mug being sat down beside him was all that Kurt heard before there was a hesitation and then footsteps walking away. When Kurt looked back up, Blaine’s car was out of his driveway.

The birds continued chirping. The sun continued shining.

* * *

 

First, there were flowers. Different colors, different arrangements, but they were there every day. They came before Kurt would come home from school, Burt usually being the one to collect them from the delivery man and place them on Kurt’s desk or nightstand or vanity, wherever he could put the assorted bouquets and their tiny cards that Kurt never read. Their aroma filled Kurt’s room, and then overtime the entire upstairs with fresh, crisp fragrances. It was all too much. Eventually, Kurt was forced to ask Burt to simply stop accepting them - avoiding any type of discussion his father tried to have on the matter. This went on for a week. 

Then. there were gifts. ‘I’m Sorry’ cards, teddy bears, chocolates. These were received sporadically, in his mailbox or at his locker. Sometimes even in his classrooms. They were all very simple and tasteful gifts - things that Kurt would usually like. Nothing too fancy, nothing too cheesy. The cards were recycled. The bears were donated. Finn ate the chocolates.

When a letter had arrived with Kurt’s name in elegant, blue handwriting, Kurt was numb to the routine. The envelope was stored away, out of sight and out of mind. He was prepared to store them all away without a second thought, ready to recycle them as well if they became too excessive, but they never did. There was only the one.

Then, there was silence. No flowers, no gifts, no letters.

It was refreshing, at first. Relieving to Kurt. He could finally have some space away from the person who had hurt him. Move on from the situation. But it was also confusing. And Kurt couldn’t believe it, but somehow, it was also disappointing.

The amount of things that showed Blaine trying to be apart of Kurt’s life dwindled, and suddenly it was something that Kurt realized he wasn’t ready for. When the flowers died around him on his desk and nightstand and vanity days after the last letter had arrived, Kurt felt something. He felt it when one by one he removed the flowers and threw them into the trash, and he couldn’t help but wonder why he had allowed them to stay in his room in the first place. To surround him like presence; slowly and quietly smothering him with nostalgia.

It was a random evening where Kurt had been shuffling through his drawers in attempt to find an old essay he needed to reference that he had picked up the envelope again. At first, it was to simply to move it out of the way while he continued his dig, but after a double take, he picked it up again, his thumb gently rubbing over the letters in his name.

Before he knew it, he was tearing open the top, peeking inside as he there was possibility of there being anything other than the piece of lined paper that was folded in there. Kurt took a breath. He tucked the envelope back under a stack of papers before continuing to move on to other things.

A day later when Kurt had started to find tiny pieces of Blaine around his room, the urge to read his letter became stronger. While Kurt was looking for a pair of sweats to change into before rehearsal, Blaine was there - the pajama set he left at Kurt’s whenever he wanted to sleep over sitting neatly next to Kurt’s sweatpants. As Kurt went to distract himself with whatever movie that was on, Blaine was there with the funny and interesting commentary that was etched into Kurt’s mind from the last time they had watched the movie together. Everywhere Kurt looked, Blaine was there somehow, someway.

It was beginning to become late when Kurt finally picked up the letter in his hands again. He should’ve been asleep. He should’ve just thrown it away and tried to fight off these dumb feelings. But he was curious.

With a huff, Kurt opened the envelope once again and pulled out the letter, unfolding it before he could stop himself. Something in him wanted to put the paper back down and walk away, but as he glanced over the words, his curiosity struck him deeper. It was short. Surprisingly short; half a page in length when Kurt had expected thousands upon thousands of words of apology and pain. Okay, not _thousands_ , but at least a full page.

Kurt sat on his bed with his legs folded in front of him, biting his lip as he prepared to read whatever Blaine had wrote him.

“Kurt,

I understand why you’re ignoring me. I know you need your space. I couldn’t allow you to leave without trying... I don’t know how to do this.

I’m not good at saying how I feel or explaining things, but I figured if this is my last shot - if you ever read this - I want to express to you everything I could never say. I’m so sorry, Kurt. I’ll understand if you just want us to be apart and if that’s easier for you. But you always have and always will be such an important part of my life, and I wish I never messed things up. I wish I was never so selfish, and I wish I could follow my own words and have the courage to tell you this in person.

I never wanted to hurt you in anyway. I never wanted to disappoint you. I just needed you to know. I’m always here if you need me.

Yours,

Blaine”

That was it.

Kurt reread the message, then reread it again, hoping he had missed something but the words stayed the same. It couldn’t be... Blaine had said it himself: if this was his last chance he wanted to express _everything_. This wasn’t everything; it expressed nothing.

Kurt continued to chew at his lip in thought, begging his mind to figure out what was missing. He had to know...

Without a second thought, Kurt was slipping his feet into his slippers and quietly making his way downstairs, careful not to disturb the house. He walked towards the small table near the front door that held the family’s mail and flipped over junk and bills - searching through all of it. When he found nothing, Kurt then searched around the area just in case something may have fallen, but it was to no avail..

Unsatisfied, Kurt moved to the next best place: their mailbox. He quietly opened the creaking wooden door and slipped out, walking a few paces before opening the white box with the number of their address painted onto it. Even with the lights around him illuminating the streets, Kurt still struggled to see. He squinted and leaned further, but he could barely make out if something was in there or if he just wanted there to be. Finally, he sunk his hand into the box, moving it around until his fingers clashed with something Kurt could grab.

Kurt pulled it out, feeling the thick rectangular shape in his hands, and quickly realized what it was. As he walked back into the house, he tapped it against his other hand, closing the door behind him and leaning his back against it as he got a good look at what he was holding: a cd case.

On the front were rose petals - red and yellow, furrowed and pressed up against the cover. Kurt ignored the symbolism behind the colors as he turned the case to the back, seeing thirteen songs written in the same gentle handwriting as the letter, but in red pen against faded white paper, his initials stained at the bottom. Kurt read each song of quietly, feeling a sting the further he read:

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

Fly Me to the Moon - Frank Sinatra

Say - John Mayer

She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

For Good - Wicked

The Scientist - Coldplay

Breathe Me - Sia

Creep - Radiohead

X&Y - Coldplay

Don’t Speak - No Doubt

It’s Too Late - Carole King

Against All Odds - Phil Collins

Somewhere Only We Know - Keane

When Kurt silently tiptoed into his room once again, he could barely fight himself from curling up into his bed, popping the cd into his computer and allowing it to play. He knew he was softly torturing himself, he knew he was tired of being hurt by someone he cared about so much, but afterall it _was_ someone Kurt cared about. Incredibly so.

So, Kurt listened to each song and took in each lyric. Memories flushed out the resentment he was holding onto. Happy memories. _Amazing_ memories that Kurt didn’t want to let go of, and as he neared the end of the playlist, nostalgia reminded him that he promised he never would.

The music stopped playing in Kurt’s room, leaving only the soft whirring of the fan in his computer and Kurt’s staggering breaths as he held his eyes closed in attempt to keep the tears welling in his eyes from following suite of the one that had started to roll down his cheek. He slowly wiped it away as he calmed himself, before going to his phone and playing with it in his hands for a bit.

Minutes ticked by. Suddenly, Kurt unlocked the phone and dialed the number, pressing it to his ear before he could regret it. One ring. Two. Three. Four. Five... please just pick up.

“You have reached the voice mailbox of-”

Kurt hung up the phone with a frustrated groan, throwing his phone to the other side of the bed before slapping his hands against his face. This was so stupid. It was so late, of course he wasn’t going to answer. Especially if he was expecting Kurt to never talk to him again-

Kurt slowly lifted his head from his hands as he felt vibrations on his bed, the screen of his phone lighting up only a few seconds after Kurt had threw it. Kurt reached for the phone, reading the screen name incredulously before answering and pressing the phone to his ear once again.

“Hello? Kurt?”

There is was: Blaine’s voice. A bit deeper, a bit out of breath, but him nonetheless. The voice behind the words. Behind the songs, and the flowers, and the cards and everything. His Blaine. _His_.

“...Kurt? Are you there?”

Kurt let out a soft shaky sigh before speaking, his back against his headboard as he rested his chin on his knees and closed his eyes. “I’m here.”

“...Okay.” Blaine responded in the same tone Kurt had, a calming sound of relief hidden in his voice. There was a pause between them, Blaine waiting for Kurt to say something - for he had been the one to call - and Kurt figuring out what to say.

Kurt swallowed harshly as he scrunched his eyebrows together before speaking again, “Can I confess something?”

“Of course.” Blaine answered, a bit taken aback.

“Remember when you told all of us that you were going to sing to someone special on Valentine’s Day? When you asked us to help you...?” Kurt waited for Blaine’s hum of assurance before continuing, mustering the courage to talk. “I thought that person was going to be me... I’ve wanted us to be together for such a long time. I... I don’t regret our kiss. Even if you think it was a mistake. That moment... was something that I’ve always wanted. It was a kiss that meant something to me and you didn’t take away anything I wasn’t already willing to give to you, so...”

There was silence between the two as Kurt could only imagine Blaine was taking everything in. Kurt’s heart raced as he waited for a reaction, his grip tightening on his phone before he selfishly decided he couldn’t wait any longer. “Please say something.”

“I...” Blaine started, before cutting himself off, a tiny surprised chuckled coming out for a second before he spoke again. “I wish it was,”

“What?”

“I wish that song was for you.” Blaine explained quietly.

Kurt shifted on his bed as the wheels in his brain spun a thousand miles per hour trying to comprehend what Blaine had told him, trying his best not to become comfortable in any conclusions he could think of. He knew where that could lead him. “What do you mean?” he decided to ask, thinking it better to get the words from Blaine’s mouth than to assume.

“Kurt...” Blaine spoke, calling Kurt’s name in the same stirring way he always had. “I don’t know how to be anyone’s boyfriend. I barely know how to be good to myself. I pretend I do but I don’t. And after everything between us... I really don’t want to screw this up.”

Kurt allowed the words to settle once again, but unlike the truth told from Blaine the day he showed up at Kurt’s home, this was easy to swallow. It still hurt - God, it hurt like hell - but Kurt knew he could manage it. He knew eventually he’d forgive Blaine, whether he wanted to or not. It was easier to allow himself to simply give in than to fight it another day. He missed his best friend.

“I'm sorry,” Blaine spoke suddenly, taking Kurt’s silence as a negative sign, which Kurt easily corrected.

“It's okay. I understand. I can't force you to do anything, and I wouldn't want to. It's not fair for me to stay angry.” He admitted.

There was another calming silence between the two as Kurt listened to Blaine softly sigh in relief, a tiny smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “So, what do we do now?” Blaine asked, a question Kurt hadn't even thought about.

“I don't know…”

“Do you…” Blaine hesitated before falling silent again.

“What?” Kurt encouraged before he heard a muffled scoff of Blaine, and then his voice again.

“I missed you…”

Kurt bit into his lip as the same fluttering he had felt what seemed like forever ago returned as soon as Blaine spoke the words Kurt had been thinking. “You can't say things like that…” Kurt said softly, a light chuckle from Blaine's side that only made Kurt feel lighter.

“Okay, I'm sorry.” He responded, smiling into the phone. “Is there anything else off limits?”

“I'll let you know when they happen.” Kurt answered, not stopping himself from smiling back. “Goodnight, Blaine.”

“Wait, Kurt. Thank you… For understanding.”

“Of course. Just…” Kurt started, a huff escaping as he rolled his eyes at what he was about to say. “Just don't break my heart again, okay?”

“...Okay.” Blaine breathed, the sadness in his voice echoing the pain he could only assume Kurt had gone through. He took a deep breath before speaking again, determined to make sure Kurt knew he meant what he was saying and that he was willing to prove that. “I'll never do that again, Kurt. I promise.”

It was strange to see Blaine again after the situation they had been through. From the outside, everything seemed normal: Kurt sitting in Blaine's room as he supported his friend and helped him clean up the possessions of his ex boyfriend lying around. There was witty banter, random trivia on the newest celeb gossip, but between them, there was obviously something off.

* * *

 

Blaine has been walking on eggshells ever since he had let Kurt through the door, and Kurt hadn't been able to keep eye contact for more than three seconds. Not to mention, there were times where they both would just _remember_. It would be when Kurt would subconsciously lick the pink smoothie mustache from his upper lip casually that he would see Blaine's cheeks burn bright pink, his eyes staring hard at his own drink until Kurt would speak up with a distraction even though he was sure his face was blushing too. For Kurt, it was when Blaine had rubbed his tube of Chapstick ever so slowly across his lips, causing Kurt to curl his own bottom lip into his mouth until he realized he had been staring a little too long, and that Blaine was well aware of it. They hadn't touched the entire time Kurt was over, somehow silently agreeing to be at least three feet away from each other. 

Even the moments where they weren't speaking were uncomfortable, so much so that Blaine had offered to put on a record when they had ran out of things to talk about, and Kurt jumped at the idea.

So, they worked around each other, throwing out anything that reminded Blaine of Jeremiah into a box to give back to the ex. Blaine had tossed in the last notebook he had with a sigh before finally speaking after an hour of just music playing. “I think that's everything.” He said, catching Kurt’s attention from across the room as he stared down at the box on his bed.

“Yeah?” Kurt hummed, making his way over to Blaine as he nodded sadly. He watched Blaine's fingers slide across the cardboard for a moment before he hesitantly folded the sides in with a sigh, fully closing it.

Kurt's expression began to match the boy’s next to him as another conversation fell; the atmosphere not being as awkward, but instead focusing on Blaine. His eyes closed as he kept his hand on the top of the box, holding is closed and not seeming to want to let go.

The pain on Blaine's face was obvious - having the last couple of months all piled away into one place had to hurt. Kurt wasn't even sure if Blaine had gotten closure.

A touch of guilt bit him as he imagined what Blaine must've gone through the last few days, having lost his boyfriend and best friend at almost the same time. It left a sour taste in his mouth as he thought about the amount of tears shed in that very bed. The amount of days where Blaine was just as heartbroken as Kurt, if not more. The thought that Blaine had probably felt that he would have to pack up Kurt's stuff as well, no closure, no proper goodbye.

Without a second thought, Kurt slowly walked fully up to Blaine and wrapped his arms around him, pulling his back close to Kurt's chest as Kurt rested his forehead against Blaine's shoulder. Blaine tenses and then melted into Kurt's arms in a matter of seconds, placing his hands a top of where Kurt’s were holding his waist tightly, forcing Blaine to smile. “What's this for?” He questioned with a chuckle, only making Kurt pull him back tighter with a hum.

“It seemed like you needed one.” Kurt answered.

Blaine let out a coo of appreciation before turning in Kurt’s arms in order to hug properly, reveling in Kurt's embrace. “I did.” He mumbled against Kurt's collar, closing his eyes once again.

They stayed like that until Blaine was ready to pull away - which happened to be quite a while later - before Blaine turned back to the box, patting it gently before lifting it and preparing to take it downstairs, Kurt following. “Blaine, I think you may be acting too delicate.” Kurt spoke up as they walked.

“What do you mean?” Blaine asked, momentarily glancing over his shoulder at Kurt, pausing at the end of the stairs.

“What Jeremiah did to you was _really_ horrible. He's horrible! Don't you want to get even or something? Get angry…?”

“Getting even isn't exactly my style, Kurt.” Blaine laughed as he hoisted the box higher in his arms when it began to sink before walking towards the door, waiting for Kurt to open it for him so he could place the box into the trunk of his car.

“Well now’s your chance to try something new.” Kurt insisted. “I just don't understand how you're going to get closure like this. We should be slashing his tires or… Egging his house. He doesn't deserve this stuff back.”

Blaine let out a small laugh at Kurt's argument before he spoke, “Kurt, I really appreciate your concern, honestly. But I don't care to do that. I really just want all of this stuff out of my life once and for all.”

Kurt sighed as his bit his lip, wanting to protest, but not being able to when his only duty was to support Blaine, not to encourage mayhem because of his own personal dislike for the douchebag. Blaine gave a knowing look to Kurt that had him letting out an exasperated huff before simply opening the door fro Blaine, Blaine letting out a quiet, sing-song “Thank you” as he moved to his car in the driveway.

“If you just wanted to get rid of it, we could’ve just burned it all.” Kurt suggested with a roll of his eyes as he followed Blaine to his car, unlocking and opening the trunk for Blaine to slide the box in, his eyebrows furrowing when Blaine didn’t. “Blaine?” Kurt hummed, looking over at where he was standing, looking down at the box once again in deep thought before looking back up at Kurt, a glint of interest in his eyes.

“S’mores?”

Kurt’s confused expression quickly turned into one of shock as he realized Blaine was agreeing to what Kurt was saying. He scoffed softly before laughing out an “Absolutely,” and closing Blaine’s trunk, the two boys exchanging a quick high five before making their way back into Blaine’s home and towards the backyard.

It wasn’t until a few hours after the sun had set that Kurt had realized the normality that had found it’s way back into his and Blaine’s relationship over the blaze of the fire pit. There was natural laughter about Blaine’s mess of a s’mores creation and soft “kumbaya” singing as they both burned things that reminded Blaine of Jeremiah. Small gifts and trinkets, flowers, photos, and an abundance of song lyrics and poems that even made Kurt blush with second-hand embarrassment.

“God, listen to this,” Blaine groaned as Kurt turned his attention from his s’more to the boy, licking melted chocolate off of his fingers. “The first time we met, the first words we shared, the first fight we had, every moment, you were never really there...” Blaine rolled his eyes at himself as he tossed more piles of paper into the fire, watching it spark up before dimming, the adjusting the burning papers with the fire iron.

“It was poetic.” Kurt tried, only making Blaine laugh.

“It was awful, and you know it.”

Kurt simply laughed back as he stood from his spot next to Blaine on the outdoor loveseat, walking to the almost empty box and pulling out an Ohio State sweater, grimacing. “Oh, this definitely has to go.” Kurt gagged, tauntingly shaking the fabric in front of Blaine before making his way to the flames.

“Hold on just a second.” Blaine quickly spoke up, standing and holding out his hands for Kurt to toss to him. “It’s a good sweater, you can’t just burn it without a proper goodbye.” He added before Kurt threw it, the sweater plopping on Blaine’s face as Kurt laughed.

“Of course you would think that. You’re one sport away from being a frat boy.” He teased, crossing his his arms as Blaine pulled it off with a slight pout that only made Kurt laugh again.

“Rude.” he snarked back before forming a smile as well, shaking out the pullover until he was holding it out in front of him. Blaine gave the gray sweater a curious glance for a moment before pulling the collar close to his face again, inhaling through his nose, and then, suddenly, a trembling exhale through his mouth. Kurt’s smile quickly dropped at the reaction, quickly realizing between the dancing shadows the fire was casting on Blaine’s face that there was dropping down from his eyelashes to his cheek, then rolling slowly as he stared at the sweater intensely.

“I didn’t... realize it would still smell like-” Blaine cut himself off as he brought a hand over his mouth, his eyes shutting and his face beginning to crumble. Kurt quickly made his way over to Blaine, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as he sat them both back down on the loveseat, pulling him in for a tight embrace.

And then Blaine cried. He wept into Kurt’s chest as he clutched the sweater close to his chest, his senses overwhelmed - smothered in his own nostalgia.

When Kurt awoke the next day, it was to a very bright sun in the sky and a slight kink in his neck. He squinted before covering his eyes with his hand and grumpily attempting to adjust to the light. After a moment, he began to sit up from where he was lying on the couch, noticing his surroundings. He was still outside, the fire had died, there was a blanket covering him, and Blaine was missing.

As if on cue, Kurt turned his head when he heard the sound of the back door sliding open and closed, a very awake Blaine bouncing towards Kurt with a tray in his hands.

“Good morning.” he sung, lying the tray down next to Kurt and revealing the display off food on it, Kurt simply grunting in response, rubbing his hand through his hair and sitting up fully, pulling the blanket tighter around him.

“I feel like I just went camping.” he groaned, before smiling softly at the smell of waffles and coffee, watching Blaine take one of the mugs off of the tray and sit close next to him, cupping it with two hands.

“I love camping.” Blaine smiled before bringing the cup to his lips and humming at the taste, making Kurt smile brighter at both the action and the tangent Blaine had blurted out for absolutely no reason.

“You would.” Kurt teased slowly, picking up a piece of bacon with his bacon and chewing off a piece of it. Blaine simply shrugged and continued to drink his coffee, looking out at the garden as Kurt began to slice and eat his waffles. He raised his head towards Blaine to speak before stopping himself when he saw the red, blockey ‘Ohio’ letters on Blaine’s chest, then turning his attention back to his food.

There was peaceful silence between them before Blaine sighed a few minutes later, stretching his arms out above his head and yawning softly. “It’s a good sweater.” he spoke suddenly, his attention never leaving from the view around him. Kurt paused in the middle of cutting, letting the words sit. “Too good to burn.”

“Okay.” Kurt replied with a nod. “And I’ll support anything you choose to do. I just don’t think keeping it is going to help you move on.” he continued softly but honestly, Blaine finally facing him.

“I know. I just want to wear it one last time. Then I’ll wash it and give it away. I don’t want it to go to waste.” Blaine told. Kurt simply nodded once more before returning back to him meal until Blaine spoke up again. “I... loved him.”

Kurt stared at Blaine, questioning him silently as Blaine shifted uncomfortably in his spot, looking down at his fingers tapping gently against his mug. “I know you never believed that I did, but I did. I know that he was an asshole. Trust me, I know that. When things went bad between us, they were _bad_. We’d scream at each other and say horrible things we didn’t mean and...” Blaine sighed, shaking his head at the memories before biting down on his lip. “But... when things were good, they were great. And when things were great, I loved him. And I wish things were always that way.”

There was look of grief in Blaine’s eyes that somehow had Kurt feeling guilty once again for ever doubting Blaine’s feelings, and he quickly reached out a hand to place on Blaine’s against the cup. “You don’t need to justify your feelings, Blaine.” Kurt said soothingly. “They’re yours and yours alone. I’m sorry that I made you feel as if you did.”

Blaine smiled at Kurt once again, appreciation on his face before he shifted himself closer to Kurt, basically forcing them to cuddle while Kurt laughed, continuing his breakfast. “So... camping?” Kurt questioned with a laugh. “What were you, some type of boy scout?”

Blaine hummed through another sip of his coffee before answering with a prideful, “Eagle scout.” that simply had Kurt snorting at the correction before teasing about it and Blaine defending his title; the giggly back and forth lasting throughout the entire morning outside over two warm cups of coffee.

* * *

 

“Kurt, I don’t think Chicago really fits under the movie description you gave me. I mean, I guess, because they became friends at the end, but that’s a bit of a stretch...” Blaine mumbled as he walked into Kurt’s room, finishing the conversation they had started over text.

Kurt had invited Blaine over for one of his infamous movie Saturdays - “an ode to our friendship” he had claimed, to which, much to Kurt’s delight and amusement, had gotten a response of seven exclamation points and a quick “on my way” text back. Minutes later, there Blaine was, pulling off his spring jacket and hanging it before kicking off his shoes and lying on Kurt’s bed, catching up on the texts Kurt had sent while he was driving.

“But I do like the idea of a Toy Story marathon. Though, I think we can do without the thirds one, I might-”

“Blaine, don’t worry, I already found the perfect movie.” Kurt interrupted Blaine’s stream of thought as he stood from his spot in front of the TV.

“Oh.” Blaine spoke in interest, sitting up against the headboard. “What is it?”

“When Harry Met Sally. It’s perfect, I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. I’m Meg Ryan, of course.” Kurt hummed, one of his brows raising as he waited for Blaine’s approval.

“Yeah, of course. Great choice.” Blaine spoke, his arms crossing over his chest as he laughed softly, and surprisingly, faint blush rising on his cheeks.

“Thank you.” Kurt smiled before kneeling back down and popping the DVD into his player, watching the images pop up on the screen.

“Hey, Kurt...” Blaine spoke softly, earning a gentle hum from the boy in return. “Don’t those two get together in the end?”

Kurt could feel the corner of his mouth twitch upwards before he turned his head over his shoulder to face Blaine, an innocent bat of his eyelashes before he clapped his hands together and began to stand. “So we don’t have popcorn, but there _is_ cheesecake in the fridge, which I personally think is so much better, don’t you?”

Another laugh escaped Blaine’s mouth at the blunt ignoral of his question before he nodded, watching Kurt make his way towards the door to retrieve said snack. “Sure. Anything you want.” he agreed, a fond and slightly smitten smile towards Kurt, who simply smiled back and pretended it didn’t make him feel weak in his knees.

When Kurt came back with the two plates, it was to his bedroom light off and the movie already playing, Blaine sitting comfortably under Kurt’s cover on what they had silently agreed was his side of the bed, watching the title roll onto the screen. Kurt sat next to him, crossing his legs under the cover as well as they watched. It took him no time at all to finish his piece of cake, despite how much bigger Kurt had made sure to make his slice. Seconds after sitting his fork down on his plate with a sigh, he watched how Blaine pushed his placed closer to Kurt without looking away from the movie, having a bit left after taking smaller bites.

Kurt sighed softly, a bit annoyed at how well Blaine knew him and cutting himself a small piece from the remainder of Blaine’s cake with his fork. Kurt watched the movie as he scooped the piece up and into his mouth, humming at the taste and closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened his eyes, it was to Blaine staring openly at Kurt with the same fond look that made Kurt’s stomach flip. “What?” he giggled nervously, only making Blaine chuckle in response.

“You cheesecake on your face.” Blaine told. Kurt could feel himself blush in the darkness at how he hadn’t even noticed the mess he was making, hoping Blaine couldn’t see it. He reached his hand up to wipe his mouth but quickly stopped when Blaine’s fingers were already on him. “Here, let me.” he mumbled, his hand cupping Kurt’s cheek but his thumb sliding across Kurt’s bottom lip to the corner of his mouth slowly before bringing that same thumb to his mouth and sucking the cheesecake off, humming at the taste as well.

It was the same exact noise that Kurt had made, but somehow it was so different, and Blaine paused quickly in his actions when he noticed Kurt staring at him sucking his finger like a deer caught in headlights.

Flustered, they both turned their attention back to the movie, an obvious tension in the air as Kurt tried to casually fold his hands over his lap, only blushing hard when his mind raced of memories of Blaine’s similar moans - the feeling of Blaine kissing Kurt that night, lips pressing against his neck, Blaine’s hands _everywhere_ -

“I’m sorry,” Blaine mumbled sheepishly.

“It’s fine.” Kurt responded, wanting to kick himself at how quick and high pitched his response was, closing his eyes as he internally groaned, knowing his face and neck must’ve been red by now. The sounds of Meg Ryan’s moans suddenly boomed throughout the room and Kurt simply smacked his hands over his face, wanting to shrink down as much as possible after the awful joke the universe seemed to be pulling on him.

Once the moaning had died down, Blaine’s soft laughter replaced it and Kurt rolled his eyes as he pushed at Blaine’s shoulder, fighting the smile that was starting to appear. “It’s not funny...” he whined, only causing Blaine to laugh harder.

“It’s a little funny.” Blaine spoke, nudging Kurt back who face Blaine with a pout. “Aww, Kurt, come on. If we can’t laugh together at this, what are we going to do when things get hard?”

It wasn’t until Blaine began snickering at the end of the sentence that Kurt gasped in disapproval, not enjoying how amusing the situation was to Blaine but not being able to stop the corners of his mouth from turning up as his jaw hung open. “I hate you!” he shouted, pulling one of his pillows from behind him and whacking it at the boy who wouldn’t stop laughing.

“I’m sorry, it was too easy.” he wheezed, holding up his arms in defence.

Kurt began to laugh as well, the tension in the air fleeing as they did. Eventually, the laughter died down, and the two continued to watch the movie. When Kurt fell asleep on Blaine’s shoulder as it was nearing it’s end, Blaine found the sight a lot more interested, watching as Kurt snored softly against him, the colors of the screen illuminating his peaceful face. He watched as Kurt sighed softly when Blaine reached for the remote to turn the TV off, adjusting to his new position on Blaine’s chest when he slowly lied them down, and then barely stirred when Blaine pressed a soft kiss to his temple before falling asleep himself. 

* * *

 

_He’s trying_... 

Kurt smiled weakly at his phone as he sipped his coffee, still warm on his lips. Here he was again, sitting by himself at the Lima Bean, waiting for Blaine. The difference though, despite Blaine being just as late as before, was that Blaine was sending a string of texts assuring Kurt that he was indeed on his way, that traffic was against him today, that he was sorry for keeping him - little updates every few minutes to tell Kurt how far away he was and that he was sorry with every passing minute.

It was nice that Blaine was going out of his way to make sure Kurt knew history wasn’t repeating itself, wasting no time to erase that memory from Kurt’s mind and trying to replace it. But, just like most things Blaine did, it was a bit excessive. Thoughtful and sweet, but unnecessary.

Kurt quickly typed out a response, telling Blaine once again that it was fine and that he should be focusing on driving before sitting his phone down and pulling his book back up, determined to finish the Shakespeare before the weekend was over - something he had been slacking on and paying for in English. It didn’t take long for him to get back into the flow of the words before he was interrupted again.

“Ah... fair is foul, and foul is fair.” A deep voice spoke, forcing Kurt to look up to see a smiling, curly haired boy who Kurt immediately recognized as one of Lima Bean’s cashiers. The same cashier that Blaine had pressed was cute, and now taking a second look without his Blaine-obsessed glasses, Kurt couldn’t help but agree wholeheartedly.

“Excuse me?” Kurt spoke a beat later, closing his book slightly as he gave his attention to the boy standing in front of him.

“Macbeth...?”

Kurt gave a confused glance at his book before connecting the word said to the story he was reading. “Oh! Yeah, sorry. I didn’t expect you quote it.”

“Well, I heard that usually impresses people.” The boy spoke, his bright smile forcing Kurt to smile as well, a soft blush appearing on Kurt’s cheeks at the fact that someone was trying to impress him before he laughed gently at the statement.

“I think that may be more of a cheap cliche than anything else.” Kurt replied.

“Well, it was worth a shot.” He shrugged before he pointed down at the chair across from Kurt, silently asking permission to sit as Kurt nodded eagerly, watching him do just that. “Figured I’d take a chance to talk to you during my break. I’m Jonah.”

“Kurt.” he responded easily. “And, I remember. You gave me your number a while ago.”

“Which you never called, by the way.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Kurt groaned, slightly embarrassed for being called out as Jonah chuckled.

“Hey, it’s fine.” He shrugged. “I only cried about it for like three days, it’s no big deal.” he teased, to which Kurt laughed at once again. Cute, funny, and interested in Shakespeare enough to quote it. What was Kurt thinking?

“Actually...” Kurt spoke, sitting his book down completely as he fiddled with the pen he had been using to take notes in his copy. “I just lost your number. I’ve never seen you working here since that day.” Kurt covered, sliding the pen and a napkin towards his side of the table.

Jonah’s smile grew wider as his hazel eyes shone brightly against his brown skin. He picked up the pen and began scribbling his number on the napkin, Kurt’s heart speeding up in excitement. “Well, I only work here on weekends. I’m trying to juggle this job with school.” he spoke, passing the items back to Kurt.

“Where do you go?” Kurt asked curiously, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the ends of the napkin Jonah had handed back to him, a little too giddy to sit it down just yet.

“Washington, down the street. Junior. You?”

“Mckinley. Junior.” Kurt mimicked, his head quirking to the side when Jonah made a slight face at his answer.

“Yikes. I heard it’s pretty hard in there; how’s that working for you?”

Kurt opened his mouth to explain the inner workings of Mckinley before he was quickly cut off by Blaine appearing a bit out of breath and pressing a hand to Kurt’s shoulder as he stood over him. “Kurt, I’m so sorry I’m so late. You will never believe what happened earlier...” he sighed before trailing off, realizing that there was another person in the seat usually reserved for him before throwing a confused glance at Kurt.

“I’m sorry,” Jonah spoke as he began to stand, catching the hint. “Is this boyfriend?”

“No, we’re just friends.” Kurt corrected a little too quickly, placing his hand a top of Jonah’s and encouraging him to sit back down. He cleared his throat and blushed once again as Jonah looked between the two. “Blaine and I are just friends.”

“I think he heard you the first time, Kurt.” Blaine scoffed bitterly, his expression becoming more confused but his tone different. Almost as if he was... offended by Kurt’s words. 

Kurt didn’t overthink it though, simply turning his attention to Blaine with a gentle smile. “Blaine, I knew you were going to be late, so I didn’t buy your coffee...” Kurt told, nodding his head over to the register before pleading silently for Blaine to give him a minute.

Blaine glanced between Kurt and Jonah once more with a raised eyebrow before nodding. “Okay...” he spoke softly. “I’ll be back.” Kurt gave a grateful smile to Blaine as he walked off before turning back to Jonah.

“Speaking of coffee,” Jonah laughed awkwardly. “I should probably get back to work. But it’s been really nice talking to you, Kurt.”

“Yeah,” Kurt breathed, watching as Jonah stood. “It’s been nice talking to you too.”

“Maybe use my number this time - we can talk some more. Maybe over dinner?”

“I’d really like that.” Kurt responded softly, a grin on his face as the shared a bashful goodbye before Jonah walked away, Blaine taking his place a few minutes later.

“What was that about?” he asked as he sat in the spot Jonah had been in, taking a sip of the coffee he had just bought.

“Nothing. No one.” Kurt babbled out shyly, blushing as he looked down at his book.

Blaine gave another confused look at Kurt before looking over his shoulder, his posture straightening - sitting taller than before. “Well, ‘No One’ is staring at you.” Blaine informed, Kurt’s eyes widening in both disbelief and surprise as he cautiously looked over his shoulder to see that Blaine was right; Jonah taking small glances at Kurt between customers.

When their eyes met, he waved a quick hello, cheesing, which Kurt shyly returned and laughed softly. Kurt turned back to Blaine, a warm feeling over him as he let out a soft, giddy breath only to find Blaine looking over the napkin with Jonah’s phone number on it, unamused.

“He gave you his number.” he said, more stating than asking, but Kurt nodded nonetheless, feeling an uncomfortable atmosphere that was building between them - something he couldn’t yet place. “That’s a little desperate...” he mumbled, taking another sip of his coffee as Kurt furrowed his brows together with a frown forming.

“I thought it was sweet...”

Blaine paused with the cup to his lips, reading Kurt’s expression for a moment before swallowing hard, suddenly blushing himself when he sat his cup down. “No, no, it is sweet. I, uh - I just thought you weren’t interested. That’s what you told me.” he attempted with a nervous laugh, shifting in his seat.

“I know, but... I changed my mind, I guess. Plus, you’re the one who told me he was cute.”

“No, totally.” Blaine nodded with another awkward chuckle as he locked down. He played with his hands for a moment before resting them on his lap properly, leaning in a bit and speaking again, softly as if it was a secret, meeting Kurt’s eyes again. “So... you like him?”

“I think so.” Kurt answered just as softly, smiling gently at the number. “I don’t really know him yet, but I can’t say I’m not interested.”

“Yeah, sure. Well, that’s... awesome. That’s um... I hope that goes really well.” Blaine responded, his hands moving once again to distractedly at the edge of his cup. “And uh... I hope he knows how extraordinarily _lucky_ he is to even be considered by someone like you.”

“...Thank you, Blaine.” Kurt smiled gently at him, very suddenly reading the atmosphere - the tone in Blaine’s words that left Kurt stuck on what else he should say and how he should be feeling.

Blaine just nodded in response though, clearing his throat before pulling up a smile. “So. You’ll never believe what happened earlier.” he repeated his earlier phrase, forcing a shift in subject and mood. Kurt bit his lip, wanting to ask what had happened just now, but not having the words to. Instead, he copied the same Blaine smile Blaine was giving him, and went along with it, ignoring his nerves and questions bubbling inside him, a feeling that was upsettingly too familiar when it came to Blaine.

  
“Try me.”


End file.
